


To Save A Young Heart

by UnsuspiciousWriter (CharliesUniverse)



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, No Smut, Panic Attacks, Sorry Lewy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-16
Updated: 2015-04-28
Packaged: 2018-02-25 10:09:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 27,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2618009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharliesUniverse/pseuds/UnsuspiciousWriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mario would love to say that he met Marco on his first day at his new school.<br/>He'd love to say he was running to his class and bumped into the blonde boy, dropping his books and apologizing. And their eyes met and suddenly his whole life was illuminated with a sense, as if everything he had done since birth culminated in this moment.<br/>It was him. The legendary, almost mythological, Lewy’s boyfriend.<br/><br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Boy Without a Name

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NicoErikRosberg](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicoErikRosberg/gifts).



> Well, well, well. I've got a few problems with my other fic because a bit aimlessly with it. Sorry.  
> Thanks to the lovely jesesmorata who read and say to me to keep going. Thanks a lot.  
> (If you dont already read her fics, you are doing this fandom wrong)  
> SO I hope you guys like it

Mario leaned his head against the glass and closed his eyes. It was no longer necessary to be strong. He took a breath and let the tears stream down his face, salting his mouth and letting him gasping for air. Doctors and nurses ran to one side to another in the room, picking up tubes, needles, elastic, serums... It seemed to be a nightmare. Mario just wanted to wake up screaming, take a deep breath, then go to school and see him there. His crooked smile, his hair yellow as the first day of summer.

But winter seemed to have arrived. His pale face fading, his lips turning blue and his thin body look even smaller. Mario bit his own hand to keep him self from screaming.

Marco still had seizures when they started the intubation, sliding a long tube through his nose while another nurse gave him an injection to make him sleep. The seizures stopped. A nurse opened the envelope with larger tube and Mario felt the food go the other way. They slid the tube down Marco’s throat and linked to the machine behind the bed. Mario managed to hold on until the machine bomb the serum into Marco’s stomach.

He ran as fast as he can to the bathroom, went into one of the toilets and put everything out, even when there was nothing more, he could still feel the impulse that made his eyes water. He slumped against the cold tile still crying, shaking his hands, his mouth still embittering with the taste of bile.

"Don’t you dare, Marco Reus, don’t you dare..."

~

Mario would love to say that he met Marco on his first day at the new school.

He'd love to say he was running to his class and bumped into the blonde boy, dropping his books and apologizing. And their eyes met and suddenly his whole life was illuminated with a sense, as if everything he had done since birth culminated in this moment. Since then all the obstacles have been broken, that despite the storm outside, having each other was enough.

It wasn’t like that.

"FOR GOD'S SAKE, GÖTZE! I said not once or twice for you TO GET THERE IN TIME. What's so difficult to understand?" Joachim Löw said exasperated while Mario arrived twenty minutes late. Again.

Jodi was the coach of the football team and specialization in sports in the Mannschaft Gymnasium. Mario had moved at the beginning of the school year, a month ago and joined the football team two weeks later. But he had a little problem with schedules, since the lunch time was sacred.

"Sorry, coach, I promise it will not happen again," he said trying to control his breathing.

"You said it yesterday, Götze! Stay in the stands. You enter in the next exercise. And will clean up the field after we finish!" Jodi yelled and walked away. Mario wipe his face. Fuck, the guy couldn’t speak without spitting everything.

He walked to the stands and saw someone sitting on top. It was a spiky-haired blond boy reading a huge book and making notes with a pencil in it. He was pretty sure he already knew him.

"Um, hi?" Mario said waving.

"Uh..." The boy looked up. Yes, Mario knew him. Although he didn’t know from where. "Hi"

"I... I know you?" He said.

"Maybe" the boy said looking at him, squinting. His skin was pale plus his lips, that were almost nonexistent, made him look faded, which contrasted with his golden yellow hair. Mario knew from where he knew him, he was almost saying, when something stopped him.

"Marco!"

Mario turned to see who it was. Nothing less than Robert Lewandowski. Marco, the blond boy, stood up and hurried to answer the call. Mario didn’t hear the conversation, just watched. Lewy, as they called him, said something with a serious look, Marco nodded and he gave him a peck on the lips.

It was him. The legendary, almost mythological, Lewy’s boyfriend.

The boy seemed to have no name, it was just "Lewy’s boyfriend" quoted in conversations, party invitations and training. Mario asked once to Thomas who was the someone, and why they never saw him.

"He is in the class A team. He live, like, stuck in his own world. He sometimes hang out with us when we go out and stuff, but never says anything, just with Lewy"

Since then, he stopped to ask.

Marco came back and sat in the same place, picking up the book.

"Sorry, I really need to study" he said picking up the pencil and writing some more stuff.

Mario frowned.

"Alright, I'll stay here, just... Looking the training" He sat staring at the field. Lewy was running back, taking another look at Marco and then landing the look on Mario.

The bell rang for the second period. Mario went back to training.

After some specific training, that Mario like like a robot a little rusty since he hadn’t stretched with the others, Jodi divided the boys into two teams and handed the ball. Mario took a look in the stands and in Marco. It looked like a Déjà vu, he knew him, but something seemed wrong.

He preferred to not think about it now or would end leaving the team. When a light rain started, and they had to stop to change the ball for an impermeable, he looked again. Marco had kept the book and was wearing a hoody. He looked across the field and followed his gaze to Lewy, who was shaking his head. Marco begged with his eyes, but Lewy was impassive. Marco nodded and rested his chin in his hands.

But actually, Marco wanted so bad to leave.

He stay, because he would rather not leave Lewy angry. So he decided to wait until the end of training, putting the book under the chair and hugged his own arms. Despite being only a light rain, it was very cold, and God, Marco hated cold. But the training would end in two hours, and Lewy would go home with him. Wouldn’t be so bad.

He looked at the field. He missed playing football. He even had played Borussia Dortmund’s U15 and his coach said he had a bright future in football career. But even before, well, everything happens, his father didn’t like the idea. He gave up and started studying to enter the Gymnasium.

He looked around the field and saw Mario. He thought he would never see the cheeky boy again since when they had finished the Grundschule and Marco had moved, but then the boy comes to the same Gymnasium. He was grateful that he hadn’t recognized him, nor even seen. Hopefully he wouldn’t remember him.

The training ended after two boring hours to Marco and the rain hadn’t given respite. Seemed to increase. Marco put the book under his coat and ran to Lewy, who was talking to his friends. Marco knew it was better to not interrupt, would end taking a scolding. He waited and Lewy went to him.

"Hey, baby, I'm going to Manu’s place. Playing fifa and stuff. I know you dontt like then said you wouldn’t come" Lewy said, walking with him to somewhere dry "I have a raincoat in my closet, I see you tonight"

Marco snorted and ran a hand through his soaked hair. He loves to play fifa, Lewy knew that.

"Hey. What is it? You’re complaining about what?" Lewy said frowning.

"It's just..." Marco said in a low voice

"It's just what? Speak out loud, you know I hate when you mumble. Stop complaining. You go home and I go there at night and end of discussion" he said, already angry, and took a deep breath "They are waiting for me. Go straight home, got it?"

Marco nodded shyly. Lewy arched his eyebrow and Marco smiled, giving a quick peck that Lewy deepened, cupping his head and wrapped his hand on his waist. They parted and Lewy went, turning to him again.

"And try to not get lost again, silly” He said and his friends laughed. Marco felt his face turn red and heard Lewy comment with them "Sometimes I think he'd forget my head if I was not here to remember!”

Marco looked down slightly embarrassed. He wasn’t so forgetful, but Lewy loved to exaggerate. He went to the locker room and grabbed a raincoat in Lewy closet and pulled out his soaked coat only to find that his shirt was wet too. As his pants. It would be a miracle if he doesn’t catch a cold.

He was putting his coat on the gain when it fell wetting Lewy's boots.

"Shit, shit, shit..." He said dropping his book bag and grabbing his coat.

"Who's there?" He heard Mario’s voice and said a few more "shits" mentally. Mario appeared in a dry suit and a bag of footballs "Oh, hi again. Marco, right?"

"Yeah. Hi" Marco said rushing, wiping the boots as he could and leaving the rest to dry out with the time.

"Where's Lewy?" Mario asked putting the balls in the corner and taking the bag in his locker.

"Out" He said hurriedly, grabbing his books bag and putting in the shoulder.

"And you waited all this time in the rain for what?" Mario frowned in confusion.

"I dunno. Enough of questions, Mario, bye" He said walking as fast as he could without slipping, leaving no time for Mario to point a detail.

He had never introduced himself to Marco as Mario.


	2. How to NOT Stalk Someone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'God, that sounded so stupid. Thankfully no one saw'  
> "Hey, Marco!" A voice cut his thoughts.  
> 'For God's sake, not him...' Marco thought, closing his eyes and slowly turned toward the voice. He could feel that he was the poor bastard that fate decided that would just get screwed in life.  
> "Hi, Mario"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again! I hope you guys like it \\(*o*)/

Mario closed his eyes and began to count, trying to catch the breath rhythm. He ran his hand through his hair, wiping the tears and trying to ignore the terrible smell. He felt the impulse climbing his throat, remembering the tube coming down in Marco’s. But there was nothing left in his stomach, he just spit the saliva accumulating in the mouth. He heard the bathroom door open and someone washing hands.

Mario tried to stay as quiet as possible, but it was becoming impossible to stay there. He felt an itch at the end of his throat and started coughing, bending ahead. The noise of water stopped.

"Hello? Anyone there?" He heard a voice speak, getting closer. He hugged his knees and tried to breathe normally, but ended up coughing more. He saw the shoes through the door and waited quietly. "Hey, are you okay?"

Mario was quiet. The man tried again.

"Hey, kid, what is it? Something hurt?"

Mario sniffed and rested his head in his arms crossed on the knees. He took a deep breath and sighed.

"Yes"

"Open the door. Let me take a look" Nothing "Look, I work here. I want to help, I can’t let a kid dropped in a hospital bathroom if he is not well. Open the door"

Mario thought and unlocked the door. He would have to open the door one day and the guy didn’t look like he would leave soon. Besides he wanted to have news of Marco. The man opened the door and Mario stood.

"Hey. We better get out of here" He said leaving the toilette and Mario followed "So, my name is Philipp. You are?"

"Mario" He said looking at his shoes.

"Oh, I know, the kid who came with the blondie. I'm sorry about the whole situation. You think you can drink water?" Philipp took a water bottle from his backpack and handed it to him. He looked ready to go out. Mario grabbed the bottle and took a sip, handing the bottle to Philipp soon after. As soon as the water went down his throat, he could feel it coming and ran to the toilette again. Philipp waited for him to come back and stared at him with concern, "I'll take you to the infirmary and they will help you with that, ok?"

"I'd rather stay with my friend" Mario whispered rubbing his swollen eyes.

"I'll talk to them and you take the medication in the room with him. What do you think?" Philipp said placing his hand on Mario’s shoulder. For an adult who was already doctor, he was very young and had a welcoming aura. As if even though he had known him ten minutes and in the worst situations, he could trust him.

Mario nodded and followed Philipp through the hospital corridors.

~

Mario wondered if he should talk to Marco at the moment. He seemed pretty upset and perhaps wasn’t the time to annoy him further with questions about what had happened to him since the Grundschule time. He took the phone from his pocket and looked contacts and picked his mom’s number. As if he was leaving in that rain. After a few seconds, his mother answered. She knew he would call and asked him to wait a few minutes, she was already on the way.

Marco shook his coat against the body and took a deep breath, sniffling as the cold wind hit his face. His day had everything to be perfect, but he is scolded himself for thinking so. Be always thinking that everything works out makes you naive, and frustrated, he thought sadly as he tried to dodge a huge puddle of dirty water.

'The important thing is to be happy even when everything looks like shit' he was thinking, jumping from tile to tile on the sidewalk and lowering the hood of the raincoat, letting the water hit his face and hair. Then came to himself and stopped walking 'God, that sounded so stupid. Thankfully no one saw'

"Hey, Marco!" A voice cut his thoughts.

'For God's sake, not him...' Marco thought, closing his eyes and slowly turned toward the voice. He could feel that he was the poor bastard that fate decided that would just get screwed in life.

"Hi, Mario" Marco said trying to sound normal. Mario was in the passenger seat with his mother in the steering wheel, but she was too distracted talking on the phone. He seemed to study Marco’s face, who grew impatient "So"

"So. Want a ride?" Mario said as if anticipating the no, but still tried. Well, Marco was tired of that rain and cold. He looked around. Thank God no one was around. Or so he thought.

Marco put the raincoat on the car floor, trying to not wet everything. Mario didn’t know what to say, Marco evenfar less. Between the two came an awkward silence filled Mario's mother saying "Um ... Yes ... No ... Maybe... NO YOU ARE!" And hanging up angrily. Mario felt his face turn red and Marco smirked, looking at the car window. She didn’t change anything.

"So honey, which way?" She spoke "Honey? Marco"

"Oh, right. It is the green house down the field’s street" Marco said, suddenly interested in his shoes. "You still remember my name?" Marco asked in disbelief. Mario's mother laughed.

"Sure. You were a famous boy, Marco. I think some mothers still have nightmares about you. And some teachers" She spoke with an almost nostalgic tone. She arched her eyebrows "Although everyone knew you as Woody. I think it was your hair"

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that" Marco laughed in discomfort.

"Honey, it's not to me you have to apologize. I swear Javier still have green streaks in his hair" She said laughing even harder and Marco tried to hold a proud smile. That was epic. In Mario’s head, the last piece of the puzzle fell into place.

"Woodyinho..." He whispered to himself. His mother was still enjoying the moment.

"Javier's mother was about to go in your house and make you drink green ink. Your mother said he was so cool, but in the end was to buy a decolorizer. Speaking on her, how's Manuela? She’s at home now? "

"She's fine, but not at home" he said with the smile dying.

"And your father?"

"Only come on Saturday," Marcus felt his mood go down the drain.

"And you are alone?" She said in horror. She hated to do it with Mario. After all, was just a 16 years old baby.

"Yes, noon and night, but I'm fine" Marco shrugged.

"Honey, you can go to our home anytime, isn’t Mario? Why you never invited him to go there? I thought you were in the same gang and..."

"I think this is my home. You can stop the car? "Marco said approaching the door. Mario turned to him.

"But it’s two blocks away!"

"I prefer to come down here"

Mario's mother frowned but stopped the car. Marco went down and grabbed his raincoat, wearing it and walking fast.

"I didn’t understand," she said looking at Mario.

"I far less" He answered"We can at least see if he got home okay?"

"I thought you wouldn’t ask" They waited Marco turned the corner to go after him, watching from a distance until he comes home.

Marco took the key from his pocket and opened the door, leaving his shoes an coat at the entrance. He picked up the phone and turned up the volume. Lewy probably would call to see if he had gone straight home. It didn’t take two minutes.

"Hey babe. Already at home?"

"Yeah, I'll just take a warm shower, I think I'll catch a cold"

"Hum... You came pretty quick this time. Do you really went by foot?" He said in an almost accusatory.

"Yeah, I just... I walked fast"

"Oh, love, I always know when you lie to me. We talked about it later" He hung up.

Marco wanted to slap himself. He took the headphones and put the playlist n.5. He was in the mood 5: Feeling a hopeless idiot who knew he couldn’t do shit and did it anyway. In the worst day he listened to n.10. It was pretty rare to use n.1.

He buried his face in the pillow and tried to think in Dortmund when he was Woodyinho and had his friends. André, Erik, Kevin, Mats... Mario. He felt suddenly alone in a spotlight in the darkness, suffocating by loneliness. Taking a deep breath, he imagined himself walking in Dortmund, in his backyard, mixing paints while Mario helped him, Kevin and Mats playing video games in the living room and André taught Erik how to give a volley. It was a happy place. Maybe he could stay forever.

He slept. The image faded.

Mario threw himself on his bed, his head dizzy with questions. He always thought that Marco would become the

What happened to Woody, the leader of the gang who everyone wanted to be part? That in April 1 didn’t let anybody escape? That everyone worshiped?

And how he had known Lewy? And why Marco didn’t play on the football team? He was the best of the school. After so many questions unanswered, Mario decided to appeal the internet. He found no social network that belonged to Marco, but found Lewy’s facebook. Nothing like being a stalker.

He found some very old photos and found one, of a couple of years ago. Lewy had his arm around Marco smiling confidently at the picture while Marco was doing the peace sign. The caption read "They said it was wrong, but didn’t remember saying that I wanted to be right." Mario looked closely. The filter could have hidden, but Marco was definitely a black eye. Some comments were disgusting, calling Marco a fag and a whore. None of them told anything bad of Lewy, of course not.

Mario's mother called him to eat something, and he was slamming the computer when by habit clicked the like button before turning off.

Marco woke up with the doorbell ringing. He whimpered quietly and yawned, stretching his arms. He removed the headphones went to the door, looking through the glass. Lewy. Marco's eyes widened, he ran his fingers through his hair, put a mint gum in his mouth and opened the door.

"Why you take so long?" Lewy asked giving him a little peck in the lips. He picks up his backpack and put on the sofa. Marco yawned, hugging him.

"I was sleeping" he said resting his head on the other boy's shoulder. Lewy smiled.

"So you want to start with Pacific Rim, X-men or you telling me the truth?" He was still smiling, then walk away. Marco swallowed hard.

"I told you the truth" He said completely aware that he wasn't convincing anyone.

"Why I don't believe you?!" he said looking offended. Marco stepped back "Why you lie to me Marco? Uh? What happened that you can’t tell me?”

He was getting closer and his voice was getting louder. Marco try to move away but the sofa was on his way. He moved his feet to run upstairs when Lewy grabbed his arm with one hand and cupped his head with the other, making Marco look in his eyes, but he closed them.

“Marco look at me” Lewy said with his voice scarily low. Marco took a deep breath trying to control his shaking body and opened his eyes. Lewy look at them firmly “Now listen. I’m so disappointed with you. You know this. After everything I do for you, you lie to me like it’s nothing”

“It was nothing. I just took a ride with Mario!” Marco suddenly found words. Lewy don’t even thought, just push him away. Marco feel on the couch regretting every word.

“It wasn’t about that. It’s about you lying to me! He could give you a ride or kissed you or fucked you. But tell me idiot!” Lewy was shouting really loudly and Marco felt his eyes watering “After everything we passed by you are doing this to me? You are just an ungrateful bastard, you know this, don’t you? Answer me!”

Marco looked to the ground. He was so stupid.

“Yes…”

“I’m waiting for your apologizes. Think about this, dumbass” He said and walk away, to the bathroom.

Marco covered the face with his hands. How he could be so idiot? It was just tell the truth. Lewy was right, it wasn’t fair with him. Brainless idiot. No wonder he didn’t have friends anymore. Who want someone so ungrateful and stupid to hang out? He walk to the bathroom and knocked the door.

“Lewy, I’m sorry, I was an idiot” He said resting his forehead on the door.

“Was?”

“I still am. Please don’t get mad at me. Please.” He said almost crying. Lewy waited a few seconds before open the door and look at Marco.

“It’s okay, babe, but don’t do this again, got it?”

“Yes” Marco said hugging the older boy. Lewy hugged him back, leading him to the couch.

“You know, I only want the best for you, babe, but you have to be honest with me. Okay?”

Lewy said looking at his face. Marco nodded and Lewy kissed him, holding his head with one hand and rubbing his thigh with the other. Marco left a soft whimper and Lewy took the oportunity to kiss with more passion. They stopped panting for air.

“We can go to your bed room, you know?” Lewy suggested.

“I... Not now. Other… Other day” Marco said looking to the ground.

“You always say that, babe, c’mon” Lewy snorted.

“I promise. Next time” Marco smiled weakly.

“I'm already waiting. So Pacific Rim”

Lewy laid on the couch on Marco's side, wrapping his arms around the younger. Marco smiled.

He was so lucky

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any thoughts, feelings, ideas for the next chapters you can leave in the comments!


	3. Talk To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lewy smiled, feeling Marco’s soft breath. He was such a cutie, Lewy thought. He loved how easy was to stay with Marco. He never complained about anything, always was at his side and obeyed him without doubt. He run his fingers on Marco’s pale cheek and he snuggled. So easy, his little bird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay (ABSO readers also), but a bigger chapter to compensate  
> Oh, and I changed my url on tumblr to kramering. My holidays start tomorrow and I will have a lot of time to write, dont worry!  
> Hope you guys like it!

When they get to the infirmary, Philipp said something to one nurse and turned back to Mario.

“You are in good hands, kid. Bye and stay strong!” He said and left running. Mario said nothing, just nodded. The nurse look at him with an almost maternal gaze.

“So I can’t give you any medicine without your guardian consent. But I will give you saline in your vein, so you won’t dehydrate. Ok?” She said, writing something on the paper and giving it to the man on the computer and walking to the other room. Mario followed her “So, dear, tell me your mother’s number.” She said picking up her phone from her pocket.

“Can you give it to me, I want to talk with her” Mario said sitting in a chair. The nurse handed the phone to him. In less than one second, she answered “Hi mom… Yeah, I know… No, I’m ok… Really… Can you come here, please? Yeah… Bye mom…”

He handed the phone back.

“So?”

“She is coming” He said looking at his shoes. There was blood on it. He took the off and throw in the trash can. The nurse looked at him, pitiful, and picked up a needle and a tube.

“You can sit there and relax, ok?” She said trying to smile.

“No. No until I see Marco” He said walking to the door.

“You can’t leave like this, kid” She urged.

“Watch me” He said turning back. He was tired and broken. Even his gaze was from madman.

“Ok, you can go to his room and wait for him. Just keep quiet. I will bring your mother when she arrive” She said. Mario nodded and followed her to one empty room.

He sat on the couch and the nurse smiled grabbing his arm and poking the needle on his vein. He grimaced but as soon as the saline started to flow, he calmed down. He felt so selfish. Marco was dying, if wasn't already, and people are worried about dehydration. Stupid…

He looked to the room. A lot of machines and tubes and buttons were around. There was a couch and a nightstand and a huge window. He could see the moon, It was pretty late. Now he was calmer and sleepy. But he couldn’t stop thinking about Marco. He needed him to be ok. He rested the head on the back of the couch and looked at the ceiling, until they bring Marco, lying on a stretcher.

~

Marco woke up on the floor.

The couch was too uncomfortable, so Lewy and him put a blanket on the floor with pillows and laid there, eventually slept. Marco frozed. He was lying on Lewy chest. One of Lewy’s hand was on his back, but the other one was under his boxers elastic, almost touching… That part. Marco breathed heavily and tried to move, but it only disturbed Lewy, who moved his hand deeper.

Marco’s eyes got wide and he gasped.

“Uh Lewy… Lewy, wake up, it’s already morning” Marco said on his ear.

“Ok, baby, I’m awake…” Lewy murmured and took his hand off. Marco sighed in relief.

He sat up and stretched and Marco did the same. Lewy move closer to him and kissed him murmuring a “good morning” against his lips and kissing them again. Marco was thanking God his mother was still on her job. They didn’t keep the kiss much longer. Lewy smiled while rest his forehead agaisnt Marco’s.

“You are so beautiful. Even when you just wake up” He stood up “I’ll take a shower. Want to come?”

“Another time…” Marco blushed “I… I will make us breakfeast and then I take a showed. We can’t be late. Another day we… Go…”

Lewy pouted upset.

“Later, then. Because we are late”

Marco nodded and left for the kitchen, thinking in some excuse to stay alone.

Mario also wake up on the floor. Mostly because he couldn't keep quiet even when sleeping. He jumped for the floor and ran to turn off his phone that was playing Au Revoir maybe too loud. He groaned and half crept half walked to the bathroom, then throwing himself in the bathtub.

“MARIO!” His mom yelled from downstairs “ARE YOU AWAKE?”

“ALMOST” Mario yelled back.

“I BOUGHT PRETZELS”

Mario took a shower, put his clothes on and ran downstairs in less than five minutes. Frau Götze laugh and put a bag of pretzels in front of him.

“I would like to see your determination to help me in the kitchen, young man” She said.

“I’m helping you to eat those pretzels, I’m thinking about your health”

“So you can stay a little longer so you can help me to wash the dishes?” She said raising an eyebrow.

“Oh my God, I’m SO late. Bye mom!” e said grabbing the pretzels bag and his backpack and running though the door.

“Don’t care about coming back, kid!” She laughed and went for her room.

Mario bite one of the pretzels and keeped the rest on his backpack, and took his bike. He was turning in the corner when he thought that maybe he should go to Marco’s house. Maybe he should talk with him a few. He was going there when he saw Lewy.

Mario went for one near alley and waited until he had gone to look at the street and see Marco in his garden. He was waving, then stop and sighed in almost relief, and went to his house again. Mario frowned. What had happened? He thought was better to leave it alone for now. He just have to think in a way to talk with Marco without he ran away.

He arrived in the school pretty fast. He was parking his bike when Lewy arrived, talking to Bastian and Jerome. Thomas waved for Mario and he went.

“Hey buddy” He patted Mario’s back.

“Hi Tommy” He anwered. They started to talk about Bundesliga and other stuff then Marco arrived, walking straight to the building. Mario just looked and sighed quietly.

“So, you two?” Mario heard Bastian talking. Lewy snorted.

“No. He said maybe next week”

“You can go to our party on Friday. I’m pretty sure you will find a better guy”

“Nope. Not the same” Lewy said looking at the floor.

“So bring him to our party”

Mario would like to hear the rest of the conversation, but the siren sounded, and he couldn’t be late again. Maybe he could go to the class A team too. He ran to the building and looked for his class.

“Hey bro” David Alaba said poking his shoulder.

“Oh hey, David”

“Where have you been? I thought you are going to play online with me” He said. Mario picked up his phone and looked at the notifications. More than 100 messages in three conversations.

“Sorry about that, I was a little distracted yesterday.”

“I hate you, you know. You were with your ‘football friends’, weren’t you?”

“No. They invited me to play Fifa with them yesterday, but I had to stay to clean up the field. Don't be a dick”

“I’m not complaining!” David complained, them stopped and laughed, pointing to the next door "Look"

Mario smiled, already knowing what was. The math teachers, Jürgen Klopp and Pep Guardiola were fighting again. The coach Joachim was next to them saying something like “don’t put me into this” and looking away. Klopp was again complaining about how Pep always “stole” his best students. Pep replied that he has to do this, since he teached advanced math.

Mario always liked math, and Klopp made it funny, even the most dumb students were good in his class. But Pep was the opportunity to go to the top, not that Pep would notice him anyway.

“Klopp, you have to go to your class” Jodi spoke rubbing his forehead “It’s enough”

“On your left” Klopp said turning in his heels and walking to his class. Pep snorted and went to his.

David said goodbye and left. Mario went to Klopp’s math class.

When he get in there, he noticed for the first time on single figure on the right bottom. Marco was there, between the Benders, his face hidden by a huge math book. How he never had noticed him there? He was going to talk with him, but Klopp was faster. They were talking about one question in the book, Marco full concentration and Klopp talking to him like teaching his son. Mario sat down and tried at least to fake that he wasn’t seeing Marco. Klopp patted Marco’s head and left with a proud smile on his face.

The class started and finished, and that was the last time he saw Marco until the training.

Marco pulled down his sleeves until the wrist and sit down on the stands. He had a test in the next day, and the book was in his house, but he thought that at least he could use that as a excuse to stay alone at night. He crossed his arms and waited until Lewy came back to the locker room and sat at his side.

“Hey babe. Why you wear those long sleeves? You have wonderful arms, in this you look like a nerd”

“I’m a bit cold” Marco said tapping his feet on the floor.

“Come here” Lewy pulled Marco closer, resting his legs on his lap and wrapping his arms around him “Better now?” Lewy purred at Marco’s ear and he nodded, resting his head in Lewy’s shoulder.

Lewy smiled, feeling Marco’s soft breath. He was such a cutie, Lewy thought. He loved how easy was to stay with Marco. He never complained about anything, always was at his side and obeyed him without doubt. He run his fingers on Marco’s pale cheek and he snuggled. So easy, his little bird.

Lewy looked at the field, the players coming in. He saw Mario stepping in the field and looking at the stands. Searching for Marco. Lewy took the opportunity and lifted Marco’s chin, kissing him lazily, enjoying his taste. Marco answered every move, with his eyes closed.

‘My little bird. Only mine’ Lewy thought and opened his eyes, seeing Mario looking to Marco, then going away. Lewy smiled against Marco lips and parted away.

“What was that?” Marco said with his eyes still shut, panting quietly.

“Because I love you. That’s enough” Lewy smirked “Now I have to go. We will go to my house today”

“I have to study for my test tomorrow. My book is at home” Marco stammered.

“Ok, so we go to yours. Till later” He said and ran to field.

Marco snorted and rested his chin in his hands.

Mario needed to talk with Marco, at least to calm his mind. But Lewy was always at his side… Mario had an idea. A bad one, but yet an idea. He waited his turn and  ran until the ball, to train penalties, and stepped at the ball, falling and holding his feet. The coach ran to him and took a look.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Götze? Are you mad?” He yelled.

“Sorry, I just lost my balance for a while” He said, sitting at the grass.

“You want to go to the infirmary?”

“No, I just sit at the stands, with one of those… Cold things” Mario said and gone, limping, to the stands and picking one of bag of cold gel. The other players were laughing, but Lewy was just staring at Mario, with a deadly glare.

Mario climbed to the top and sat a few centimeters away from Marco.

“Hi” He said, putting the cold thing in his ankle.

“Hi” Marco replied.

They stand in a awkward silence, until Thomas went to kick the ball and fell, without stumble in anything, and continued to run in all four and Marco smirked. Mario noticed and laughed harder. Marco turned to him and whispered.

“Gosh, he looks like a horse” They both laughed. Then Bastian was running and Lewy bumped him, and he rolled in the grass.

“See the ball, be the ball” Marco said and they laughed again. Marco didn’t noticed Lewy staring him.

“You didn’t change to much, Woody. Why you don’t play anymore?” Mario asked panting. Marco was going to answer when Lewy came like a storm and grabbed his wrist tightly, pulling him from his seat and hurrying up to outside.

"Lewy, stop, what are doing? It's hurting me!" Marco cried behind him.

"We're going home, Marco. It's enough" Lewy said angrily and walked faster.

Mario couldn't do nothing but stare. Something was not right. 


	4. Maybe You Are The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ok, Götze, what you want?” Sven said resting his hand at Mario’s shoulder. That was a good question. What he wanted?  
> “I’m just trying to understand why he don’t speak with anyone” Mario lied, then complemented “He wasn’t like that before”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aye! Another chapter for you!  
> Thanks for the kudos and comments, you guys give me life!

Marco’s mind was racing, Lewy still pulling him by the wrist and walking fast.

"Lewy. What happened? Lewy, this is hurting, stop, please. Tell me where are we going at least"

They passed by the front door and Lewy turned to him.

"None a word. I don't want to hear nothing for you, do you understand?" He hissed and Marco nodded "We are going to my house. Just... Don't speak"

Marco gulped and they started to walk again. His wrist was starting to hurt, while Lewy kept pressing it. He didn’t like to go to Lewy's house. Didn't looked like a home at all. His parents never were around. The only time he saw them, they were so nice with him, but Lewy said they were just faking it.

Marco felt his heart beating faster and faster, just breathing deep to calm down. What he had done? He was just talking with Mario and... Oh...

They arrived at Lewy's house and Marco waited at his side, crossing his arms and looking around. Lewy opened the door and came in, Marco obediently following him. Lewy's parents weren't there again. Maybe was the best, since Lewy was in a bad mood. They went for Lewy's room and Marco sat on the bed, knowing that was better just to stay quiet.

"I don't know what to do with you anymore. I really don't. I try to warn you about them but you don't listen to me. I feel like you are making me a fool" Lewy said sitting in the chair, near the desk "Why you're doing this? Tell me" Marco said nothing "C'mon, tell me, dumbass"

"We were just talking. Nothing else" Marco stammered.

"Oh, just talking. I know what I saw, Marco! He was flirting with you, his eyes were all over you! You are so naive and didn’t noticed, but I saw, Marco" Lewy said angrily.

"It wasn’t like that. He just say hi, and... And I... When Thomad fell, I told him a pun. Just that!" Marco said, feeling his throat closing, like it was in a knot.

“Oh, so you are telling me that you were flirting with him? Is that it?”

“No, no, no! There were no flirting, we were just talking”

Lewy stepped toward Marco and grabbed his wrist, twisting it. Marco whimpered and tried to push him away, but he doesn’t even moved.

“Oh, just talking. For God’s sake, I was trying to protect you. I still am. Do you want that all over again? Do you want the second day? If you don’t want to listen to me, I can go away. Try to stay alone one day. See if you can stay with yourself again, to me find you again in that way”

Marco’s lips were trembling and he felt the tears starting to stream down his cheeks. Lewy stepped back.

“Oh, don’t start, everytime I try to talk with you, you start to cry. Stop being a baby, holy shit”

Marco tried to wipe his eyes and calm down. But he felt his nose clogging and a sob escaped. The only thing he could think was that he couldn’t being alone again. Lewy was the only person who cared about him, so why he always screwed everything up?

“I’m sorry…” He said with his voice hoarse and stopped to hold the cry. He felt alone without his friends, but Lewy was right. Everything could happen again, and this time Lewy won’t be there to save him. He couldn’t stay alone. Not again. Not again. Not again…

Lewy snorted and run his fingers in his hair.

“Marco…” Lewy called in low voice and Marco breathed deep before lift his head. Lewy opened his arms and Marco ran to them. Lewy wrapped his arms around him and sat in the bed, Marco still in his arms, with his head resting on his shoulder, crying and sobbing, terrified with the idea of being alone again.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…” Marco mumbled. Lewy just patted his back “Are you leaving me?”

“No, babe, I’m not” Lewy said, and kissed the top of his head. ‘Oh, liebe’ Lewy thought ‘Such a shame that I have to cut your wings so often’

He tried to interlace your fingers in Marco’s, but he pulled back his arm and hissed.

“Oh, baby, did I hurt you?” Lewy held out his hand. Marco put his wrist on Lewy’s hand and nodded. Lewy pressed his finger in it and Marco hold his scream “Liebe, you need to eat more, so weak! I told you. Wait a minute”

Marco stayed alone in the bed and wiped his tears. Lewy was right. He had to be careful, and Lewy knew what was the best for him. He always knew and was trying his best to make him understant. Lewy came back with a little kit in his hands.

“Ok, let me see. Give me your wrist” Marco obeyed and Lewy ran a cold spray on it, Marco just watching and biting his finger. Lewy put a bandage and kissed it softly “Here you go. Want a lollipop?”

“No” Marco laughed a bit.

"Oh, but take it" Lewy give a little peck in Marco's lips, who blushed “Ok, and I have something else for you. I was waiting for another opportunity, but maybe now is better” He opened his drawer, pulled a armband from there and handed it to Marco “My mom went for Dortmund last week”

Marco looked at the Borussia Dortmund’s armband, all black with the letters BVB in yellow. He put above the bandage and pulled Lewy to a hug.

“Thank you”

“All for you, babe” Lewy fell in the bed again, Marco at his side.

Mario tried to ignore the ache in his back, while holding his backpack and Marco’s. He still didn't had fully understood what had happened before. Why Marco didn't react... Marco, as Woodyinho, was always in a fight with the other boys, then in the end of the day had a lot of bruises, but the other boy had more.

Lewy just dragging Marco from the stands wasn't normal. Marco changed, but Mario thought that wasn't for good.

He walked to the school gate and was ready for walk away when he saw Sven and Lars Bender. They were from the class A team, along with Marco. They even was in Klopp's class. They should know something. He walked towards them. Sven was wearing a Star Wars shirt, while Lars was with a Star Trek one. Or was the otherwise?

"Hey guys!" In this moment, Mario realized that he didn’t know how to ask it “So… I saw you guys with Marco, so can I ask.. Do you guys know where he lives?”

“You go on this street, you turn left in that blue house, then go ahead, you turn in the corner of the coffee shop and it’s the green house” Lars said already walking away with his brother.

“Do you guys go there very often?” Mario said trying to stand in their way.

“Not anymore” Sven said trying to go around Mario.

“Why?” Mario tried again.

“Ok, Götze, what you want?” Sven said resting his hand at Mario’s shoulder. That was a good question. What he wanted?

“I’m just trying to understand why he don’t speak with anyone” Mario lied, then complemented “He wasn’t like that before”

“We don’t know it too! In the first week, about three years ago, he was all excited about the Gymnasium and talked with everyone. A few months later people discovered that he was gay and started to bully him. After that, he used to talk just with a few people, like us. Then stopped" Sven said and shrugged.

“I think it was after a party in Lukas’ house, when he still lived here, Lewy came out, with Marco as his boyfriend” Lars pointed.

“Something happened there. But he never told us what” Sven said and Lars nodded.

“Now he barely talk with anyone, we stopped to try”

“Oh… Thank you guys. Nothing else?” Mario tried to process the information.

“All we know. Bye Götze” Lars said and they walk away.

Mario had more questions than answers, but he knew what he was looking for.

He picked up Marco’s backpack and ran to his bike, but if Lewy had dragged Marco in that way, he probably wasn’t at his home, and no way he would go to Lewy’s place. He could just call Marco and in the other day, he could give back his things. Besides he didn’t have Marco’s number. Great.

He sat down in the bench near the gate and put the backpack in his lap, opening the front pocket to search for information. He felt like a thief, but it was necessary. Dammit, even the guy’s wallet was in there. But at least it had his house number.

Lewy and Marco stayed a couple hours in Lewy's house. They watched a movie and ate popcorn. Marco wasn't interested in the movie that much, so he just rested his head in Lewy's lap, almost asleep, while Lewy was playing with his hair and giving his popcorn in his mouth. Marco was still worried about later, but his day was being perfect. Lewy accompanied him until his home, and, with a long kiss, said goodbye. Marco was afraid of stay alone, so he went to his room and locked the door, pulling the box from under the bed.

Was a cardboard box with “Comfort Box” written with Lewy’s letter. He opened it.

It had a blanket, a bag with candy, a little box with coloured pens, perfumed soaps, a bunch of photos and other stuff that he liked. In the other side of the box’s cover, was a Safety Plan. “I’ll calm my self by: check my comfort box/I will tell myself: I’m loved. I can do it/I will call: Lewy/I will go to: Lewy’s house”

Lewy made for him a couple years ago, to help him. He loved that box. He picked up his blanket and curled up his bed. He cried without know the reason.


	5. Just Checking, Mate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “NO. WAY. You still support Borussia?”  
> “A little bit, yeah” Marco said blushing.  
> “Me too! Let me see!” Mario said like a puppy in snow for the first time. Almost everyone he knew supported Bayern or Schalke.  
> Marco slipped the armband and handed to Mario. He looked at every detail and looked to Marco with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY BABIES  
> New chapter for ya!  
> Oh, and I have a question. Do you guys still want the intros? Answer in the comments!  
> Thank for who commented the last chapter, the new readers, people who left kudos... You. Are. Amazing! Hope you like it.

Mario had to remember that he had a needle in his arm. Otherwise he had ran to Marco as soon as the doctor left and God knows what could had happened. He pulled carefully the saline bag and walked towards Marco.

He took Marco’s arm carefully. It was cold. Freezing. And pale like a paper. His lips were blue and his face skin with little red dots. The tube was still in his nose and his chest was moving up and down gently and constant. He was shirtless and Mario could see his ribs clearly.

Mario would cry, if he had any tear left. He pulled the blanket covering Marcos bare skin. He was starting to shiver. Both of them.

“I’m so sorry…” Mario whispered, pulled his chair near the bed and sat, resting his head in Marco’s arm “Wake up. Please…”

He couldn’t say if he had slept or just stared the wall until he stop thinking. He just come back with his mother’s hug.

“Sorry, little pie. I didn't know”

-

Marco arrived in the school gates with his mind still numb. He slept the whole night in that way,with the tears gluing his eyes. The blanket helped a lot, cause it had his scent. He could feel that it was still his.

He equilibrated the books in his arms, since his backpack was probably in the lost and found section.

He lowered his head, feeling all eyes over him. Watching his bloodshot eyes, his messy hair, his thin and weak body. He walked faster, not even trying to see what was in his way. He looked at his shoes when he saw another pair and stopped. He lifted his head and almost jumped when he saw Mario’s face.

“Hey. You forgot your things yesterday. I tried to call you by the evening but you didn't answer. Here.” Mario handed the backpack to Marco, who picked up shyly. He seemed to be so nice. He never tried to hurt him, so… Why not just trust a little bit?

“Thanks, Mario. I owe you one. Bye” He waved, his sleeve slipping out and showing his BVB armband.

“NO. WAY. You still support Borussia?”

“A little bit, yeah” Marco said blushing.

“Me too! Let me see!” Mario said like a puppy in snow for the first time. Almost everyone he knew supported Bayern or Schalke.

Marco slipped the armband and handed to Mario. He looked at every detail and looked to Marco with a smile. Then he saw the bandage at Marco's wrist and his smile faded.

“What is that?” Mario spoke and Marco covered it with his sleeve “Lewy did this with you? Yesterday?”

“No. Of course not.” Marco said looking at his shoes again and took the armband “I have to go”

And run away.

Mario stayed in the doorway, suddenly remembering his mission.

Well, he couldn’t just ask to Marco. He needed a Watson. He wondered where David was.

Marco went straight to his physics class and sat next to Sven. Was too early to all those Mario stuff. He picked up his books and keep in his backpack. Sven turned to him.

“Hey buddy. Are you ok?” He said and Marco almost jumped from the chair.

“Yeah. Of course. Why are you asking?”

“Just checking, mate” Sven said and stopped “Checking mate…” He said smiling and turning to Lars, who laugh.

“You are addicted, Manni, I told you”

“Shut up, you say this cause you always lost” He punch Lars’ shoulder.

“Oh, wait for me”

Marco laughed and tried to look away. He missed those two. They always supported him, so why he had gone? No, no. He has to stop. As if they wanted be next to him… But Sven talked to him, maybe he cares… Nah. Stop deceiving yourself, Marco.

He was leaving his class when Lewy came.

“Hey, liebe. Come and lunch with us. Me and the boys. They are waiting for us” Lewy took his hand and started to walk, but Marco stopped. Damn, he hated to eat with other people. He liked to eat next a tree, near the field. No one was around and he loved all this solitude atmosphere. “C’mon Marco… I said come on”

“Ok…” Marco said trying to smile and went after him.

The cafeteria was crowded as always and Marco once again fosused on his shoes, feeling all eyes over him. He pick one tray and followed Lewy. Lewy waved to the guys, who were sitting on a tabble in the middle of the cafeteria. They looked at Marco and started to talk with each other in low voice. Marco focused on Lewy. He was with him, everything was ok.

Marco sat carefully, and Lewy sat right next to him. He saw Mario sitting in the other side of the table. He was talking with David Alaba, who was sitting in the other table. They were whispering something and David was looking done with the conversation. David finally give up and turned back to his lunch, Mario did the same and almost fell from the chair when he saw Marco.

Lewy apparently saw this, cause moved closer to Marco and smirked. He kept talking with the other guys, but his hand casually on Marco’s thigh.

Marco was just staring at his food. He didn’t want any of that. He just wanted to leave. He picked the fork and poked the beans and lifted his head. Mario was looking at him. He pointed to Marco’s meal and mouthed ‘You don’t want it?’. Marco shook his head.

Lewy turned to him right way.

“Marco, why you are not eating?”

“I’m not hungry” He mumbled.

“You have to eat. You are already pale and skinny. Now eat it”

“I don’t want it now” Marco said looking at the fries. It was one of his favorites, but he didn’t want it.

“Marco, please. If you don’t eat, you will die and I will put on your gravestone ‘I told you, idiot’”

Marco blushed, while everyone was laughing. He pick a spoonful and put in his mouth.

“See. Sometimes you are such a child…” Again, more laughs.

Marco was trying to eat, but his stomach didn’t seemed to like that. Was hard to chew and harder to swallow. He looked at Mario, who was looking at him concerned and then smiled, like saying ‘it’s ok’. Marco didn’t feel like. He ate half of the meal with Lewy checking him once in a while.

“Wasn’t that bad, right? Go on.” He said and Marco shook his head. Enough. He could feel the food on his throat. “C’mon. My newborn cousin eat more than this”

Again more laughs. That was buzzing in Marco’s head. Eat that crap, eat more, eat more, your idiot! He couldn’t take it anymore. He stood up almost tripping in the chair and ran to the bathroom.

Lewy looked at him running and waited. He will come back. Wasn’t the first time, anyway. He didn’t even notice that Mario was also gone.

Marco barely had time to fall in his knees before everything came back to his mouth. He felt a pat in his back. Must be Lewy, he thought while he couldn’t think in nothing more. He focused on the hand on his back and breathed to calm himself, sitting on the cold floor.

“Are you feeling better?”

Marco lifted his head to face the voice. Mario’s voice.

“I think so”

“Come here” Mario said and went for the sink, Marco following him “Wash your mouth. It must be an awful taste”

“Thanks” Marco put a handful of water in his mouth and then spat, Mario carefully didn't looking “I’m a bit thirsty…”

“Don’t drink water. Do you have any juice or something like that?” Mario wished he was with his bag. He had Gatorade in it.

Marco shook his head. Everything he had was in the cafeteria and no way he was going back there.

“Ok, you just have to wait a few minutes. Your stomach is still a bit sensitive, mostly because… You know, you ran way like that. Believe me, you don’t want to throw up two times in a row”

“I see…”

“I think I should leave now, you are ok…” Mario said turning to the door. Marco was wondering where Lewy was. But at the same time that he was wishing that Lewy would come faster, he didn’t want that Mario had to leave soon. He had missed talk to other people besides Lewy.

“No!” Marco yelled and Mario turned to him “I mean, I was just wondering… Just thinking that…”

“That…”

“Nothing, just thank you. It’s nothing”

“MARCO?” They heard Lewy’s voice coming for outside, and Marco pushed Mario for one of the toilettes with any other word and pulled its door closed.

“Shh…” Marco hissed near the door and Mario could almost feel panic in his voice.

“Marco, babe, are you there?” Lewy knocked the door.

“Yes!” Marco yelled. Lewy opened the door and walk in.

“What was that Marco, why you take so long?” Lewy said. Mario tried to look by the door crack and hide his feet. Lewy was with his arms crossed, as if in disapproval. Marco was scratching his neck and looking at the floor.

“I was feeling a bit dizzy. Just it”

“You wasn’t talking with nobody, was you?” Lewy said looking at Marco’s eye, trying to see any trace of a lie. “Don’t even try. You was”

“Was… It was Mario, but he already gone, it was a while ago”

“I see. We talk about this later. Let’s come back” Lewy grabbed Marco’s hand, but he pulled it.

“I don’t want to go back there. I will go to my class”

“No. You are going back there with me and you will eat something. Grow up a little” Lewy snapped. Mario had to hold himself to don’t go there or just yell a ‘Shut the fuck up’ to Lewy.

“Ok, I go there, but no more food, ok? I eat when we get home” Marco begged.

“Damn, Marco, you are just skin and bones, I already told you…” Lewy leave talking and Marco followed him.

Mario stepped outside. Lewy was too jealous and Marco too obedient. He needed to find out this whole story. It couldn’t be a nice party to turn Woody in someone’s pet.

He needed his Watson and quick.


	6. Don't Make A Sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lewy’s friends, Thomas, Manuel and Bastian, invited them to play videogames on Thomas’ house, what Marco didn’t understand at all, cause they never invited Marco. Anyway Thomas seemed to be a nice guy and they said his house was amazing.
> 
> And they were not wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY I TOOK SO LONG :(  
> I was trying to write A Bad Soap Opera before post this and I didn't wrote neither in the end ¬¬'  
> But heeey, I'm here now. Hope you guys like it.

Marco tried hard to not run away as fast as he could and hide in his home. But in the end, he walked at Lewy side, holding his hand tight and wipping the sweat once in a while. Lewy gave him his hand nothing else, cause he was too lost talking with Bastian about Borussia, or what he said, the shame of Germany. Marco put his hand on the jeans pocket, hiding his armband.

He sighed softly and looked to the sky. The day was perfect to sit outside and listen music. Maybe freestyle. But Lewy’s friends, Thomas, Manuel and Bastian, invited them to play videogames on Thomas’ house, what Marco didn’t understand at all, cause they never invited Marco. Anyway Thomas seemed to be a nice guy and they said his house was amazing.

And they were not wrong.

Thomas’ house was bigger then five houses like Marco’s, had stables and meadow until he couldn’t saw anymore. They got into the house and to Thomas’ room. Lewy took a place in the bed, dragging Marco along. They sat and Lewy pulled his boyfriend’s legs to his lap. Marco cheeks turned crimson and he tried to cncentrate on Thomas, who was giving the joysticks to his Playstation 4 to them. Well everyone except Marco. He wasn’t expecting to play anyway.

Lewy pulled him even closer and Marco tried to avoid some looks that the other guys gave to him, almost laughing. Marco felt a bit sick, so he just stare at the TV, while they played Uncharted. Marco wanted this game since it was only rumors, but he has a Playstation 3, he has to gather his money for months to at least buy the new console. And new games.

He only wanted to run and take the joystick from Bastian’s hands and beat all of them. Buy insted, he rested his head on Lewy shoulder, crossing his arms, and watching the game. After a while, Marco’s mind was far away from the room, imagining be in somewhere else, where he could play and talk and feel like someone.

“Marco… Marco” Lewy poked his cheek. Marco blinked and looked up.

“Uh?”

“Take the control. I will go to the bathroom for a moment”

Lewy handed the joystick to the blonde and went away. Marco didn’t take almost any time to get used to the game. He played so many times on demo ha was almost leading the other three boys.

“Dude you are SO good” Thomas said pressing a lot of buttons at once.

“Thanks” Marco smiled and pointed to the screen “There, there. There is a hidden treasure”

They went and Thomas’ eyes widened. He spent an evening looking for that bastard. He looked to Marco and smiled.

“I need to call you more often. He is better than you, Basti, you’re out of my team” Thomas laughed and Basti snorted.

“I wonder since when we talk with Robbie’s bitch” He muttered between his teeth and Manu laughed.

“Me too, dude”

If Thomas heard, he pretended he didn’t. But Marco felt his hands trembling. He gulped and decided to pretend he didn’t hear nothing. Lewy came back after a while and sat down, Marco giving back the joystick almost immediately. He felt his throat in a knot, but he just swallowed hard, put his legs in Lewy’s lap again.

“So. What I’ve missed?” Lewy said managing to get the control again.

“Dude, Marco is good in this game. He knew where the hidden treasure was!” Thomas say giggling.

“Yeah. Not a big deal” Marco mumbled. The word was still buzzing in his mind. Bitch. Just a bitch.

“It IS a big deal” Thomas said pressing “pause”. Oh, he heard mumbles “You have to bring him more!”

“Yeah, I should…” Lewy echoed, then looked to his phone screen “Look, Marco has a test tomorrow, maybe we should go home now”

“Oh, dude, we played almost nothing!” Thomas protested, but Lewy didn’t listen. He and Marco were already out, and Marco for the first time was happy for begin dragged outside.

Mario was happy for not being invited. Although he liked to keep one eye on Marco, he needed time for his research. David was in his house too, but he was tired of Marco and this Sherlock shit and this goddamn party. He just wanted to watch a movie or maybe just complain about… Well, everything.

But Mario was too busy in the internet looking for his old friends. He had to try a lot to not punch this cheeky bastard.

Mario tried to found Mats and Kevin, the oldest of them, but in the end, choose to call André, the closest to him, besides Marco, in the Dortmund times.

 

_mariogoetze: Hey andre it’s-a me, Mario!_

_andreshuerrle: look what the cat dragged in, Super Mario! how are you buddy?_

_mariogoetze:  im cool, really. now im in munich._

_andreshuerrle: thats great. i came back to leverkusen, last year._

_mariogoetze: so, do you have any news from the guys? mats, kevin, erik…_

_andreshuerrle: they are still in Dortmund, i guess. they were good players, bvb call them for their U16._

_mariogoetze: really??? thas awesome!_

_mariogoetze: thats*_

_andreshuerrle: i know! we still talk a few, mats and i. im in bayer. you are in Bayern?_

_mariogoetze: nah. im in the gymnasium team :((_

_mariogoetze: guess who i found here???_

_andreshuerrle: i have no idea?_

_mariogoetze: marco reus_

_andreshuerrle: WOODY? REALLY???_

_mariogoetze: the first and last. its because of him i called you._

_andreshuerrle: what? trying to make me jealous? >:(((_

_mariogoetze: ah…... no? why i would do that?_

_andreshuerrle: hum. i know… well, how is he? is he ok?_

_mariogoetze: touché. i need your help. anything happened after i left?_

_andreshuerrle: a bit yes._

_mariogoetze: tell meeee._

_andreshuerrle: No no. you tell me why this suddenly._

_mariogoetze: do you have time??_

_andreshuerrle: not so much…_

_mariogoetze: good, cause is a short story._

_andreshuerrle: ¬¬’_

_mariogoetze is typing…_

 

How could he even start? Mario rubbed his eyebrows and sighed. Ok.

 

_mariogoetze: so I didnt even noticed marco until this week, but he dates this guy, robert, who is on the team too. and all of this is so awkward. he stopped talking with everyone and he only talks with robert and im kind worried cause he acts like his pet, robert drags him everywhere and says not-so-nice things to him… and he does NOTHING and SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT._

_andreshuerrle: how long he is dating this guy?_

_mariogoetze: a couple years._

_andreshuerrle: makes a lot of sense now_

_mariogoetze: you knew he was gay????_

_andreshuerrle: thats the part i have to tell ya._

_andreshuerrle: so. after you left everyone was pretty devasted, mostly cause you stop talking with us - thank you very much - and marco was A LOT sad._

_mariogoetze: oh…_

_andreshuerrle: and then he started to hang out with this guy, marcel, and some kids from the team found them kissing and this spread like wildfire. idiots that we always kicked their asses started to bully him, calling him fag and whore. was a hell. in less than two weeks they moved away. he spoke once or twice with us, but nothing more than this._

_mariogoetze: this explains a lot…_

_andreshuerrle: look, i hate training now, but i will help you. maybe i could even go there someday. im a bit worried too. bye super mario!_

_mariogoetze: bye andre good to see ya_

 

Mario moved away for the computer and throw himself in the bed, David sitting there reading a magazine.

“Found what you was looking for?” He said without take away his eyes from the magazine.

“I think soo” Mario took a deep breath and looked to David “What are you reading?”

“Words” David said still not looking to Mario.

“Ohhhh got it. You are mad at me!” Mario laughed. David stared the window. “Oh, big baby. Boo Hoo. What did I do, broke your toddler tricycle?”

“Shut up” David threw the magazine in Mario’s head “What did you found?”

“Basically, people discovered that Marco was gay and made his life a hell because of it. Probably the party thing is about that too. You are here since ever, did you went for this party?”

“Do I look like someone who goes to parties?”

“Yes” Mario snapped.

“I know. I was there. But I don’t remember anything about something like this”

“Dude. You’re so useless”

“Thank you, center of universe”

“Shut up, stop being such a bitch. My mom bought kebab”

 

They didn’t talk to much in the way back to Lewy’s house. Marco still was feeling sick and Lewy didn’t talk nothing in public when he was mad, and Marco knew he was. Lewy never liked when the guys spoke with Marco and Marco was sure they still talked with him once in a while just for make Lewy angry.

Marco took his hand and Lewy squeezed it. He turned to go into a coffee shop and Marco followed him. He had some kind of passion for those coffee shops. Everything was so cozy and smelled like coffee and delicious stuff. But Lewy just asked for take-out food.

“We can’t stay and eat here?” Marco asked hopefully.

“Babe, I’m tired and I don’t like here. Everything smell like coffee. But the cake is damn good” Lewy said with a sniff.

Lewy ate all his cake in the way home. Marco didn’t eat nothing, mostly cause he still felt the taste of the fries, and because he was grateful, cake always lifted Lewy's mood. Lewy's parents, again, weren't home, so they could spend a moment alone.

Lewy threw himself in his bed and and Marco sat carefully on the chair near the desk. He looked to his feet, elbows on the knees, chin on the hands. For one moment, in a long time, he asked himself if everything was fine. Lewy was the one who answers this question, but Marco wanted to knew his own answer. Was there something wrong?

He was just a bitch?

His thoughts were interrupted by Lewy, who hugged him from behind and kissed his neck.

“What are you thinking?” Lewy whispered in Marco’s ear, resting his chin on the blonde’s shoulder.

“Nothing to much.  Just some thoughts, bothering me” Marco sighed.

“Do you want to forget it all?” Lewy walked around him and looked in his eyes.

“I wish I could”

“Come here” Lewy pulled him by his arms, placing them in his shoulders, and the blonde stood in the tiptoe, their noses almost touching “No worries, my baby”

Lewy pressed their lips together, cupping Marco’s head and tilting it. Marco melted into the kiss, trying to clean his head and forget everything. They parted away panting and Lewy goes down, kissing his cheekbone and his neck, stopping in a spot until Marco was sure that he left marks, then came back to his mouth, grabbing a firstful of his hair until it started to hurt.

Between sloppy kisses, he took away Marco’s shirt, and pushed him gently to he wall. Marco felt like Lewy was all over him, and more than this, he felt safe. His world was just here and now, and the episode on Thomas’ house looked so distant. Lewy started to going down again, leaving Marco breathing hard and trying to fix the mess that was his hair.

Then everything crash down. Lewy kissed right under his belly button and stood up, whispering in his ear

“Don’t make a sound”

Marco started to temble. Lewy words don’t looked like his, but the voice was smoother. His hand was opening his fly and Marco couldn’t breath anymore. He couldn’t even see anything, his head dizzy and colorful stops was dancing in his sight. Like a party.

He pushed Lewy away when he was lowering his boxers.

“Marco, what the fuck?” Lewy jumped to his feet and walked toward Marco.

But his words meaned nothing, he couldn’t hear him. He could just hear the same voice.

‘Not again. Not again. Just leave me alone’ Marco covered his ears and shutted his eyes, trying to make the voice leave. It didn’t go, It never do. It lowered more, but Marco hear perfectly ‘Oh, no, little faggot. Shh... Don’t make a sound’

“LEAVE ME ALONE” Marco screamed and collapsed to the ground. Lewy ran to catch him. Marco struggled, trying to run away. At least this time, he had to escape.

‘Come here, I know you need it. We both know'

Lewy hugged him, making him stood still and he stoped to move, giving up, crying and sobbing on Lewy shoulder.

“Hey, hey, calm down, calm down. Nothing to worry about” he whispered “Calm down…”


	7. Little Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was standing in the middle of a meadow. Was autumn and the wind blow at his back. Smelled like his home. There was leaves everywhere and the sun was right over him. He wasn’t scared anymore. He smiled and started to run again, but this time he felt the freedom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I took so long for a chapter so short :c  
> But next one will be longer and full of stuff!

Mario followed his mother to other room. They needed to talk and Mario felt as if he stayed there a little longer, he would start to scream like a baby. Trying to wake the other boy.

And Marco was left alone, submerged in the darkness of his own dream.

He was running in the dark. He didn’t know from what, but he was more scared than he ever had felt. But he saw a light. An orange light starting to grow and in a moment of faith he jumped.

And everything changed.

He was standing in the middle of a meadow. Was autumn and the wind blow at his back. Smelled like his home. There was leaves everywhere and the sun was right over him. He wasn’t scared anymore. He smiled and started to run again, but this time he felt the freedom.

He stopped and started to laugh. And he heard another laugh, but wasn’t his.

Some boys ran past him, almost making him fall.

“The last one have to pay for the ice cream!” The boy with black curled hair screamed, running faster.

“That’s unfair! Just because you know I can’t run faster!” The boy with brown hair pouted, panting.

“Stop crying and run, Erik!” A blonde boy said grabbing his hand and running faster, dragging the other one with him.

Marco stood still, while the boys despaired in distance. He frowed and then felt someone touch his hand.

“What are you waiting?” A dark haired boy said panting.

“I’m waiting them to go further, so I can kick their asses when I win, Sunny” Marco just heard his voice.

“Stop calling me Sunny!”

“Only if you catch me” And started to run, listening to Mario laughs.

He soon surpassed the other boys and raised his hands in victory. He turned to see the face of his friends, but there was nothing. Just the meadow.

 

~

 

Marco woke up in Lewy’s bed. Took him some time to figure out that he wasn’t in some party, nor in Lukas’ house. His head was hurting and he felt every vein pulsing. He sat on the pillow and grimaced, massaging his temple. He didn’t remember nothing before he black out, just Lewy kissing him and that stupid voice in his head.

He took a few deep breathes and grabbed his shirt on the floor, dressing it. he heard some steps and sat down in the bed, fixing his hair. Lewy pushed the door with his back, holding two mugs.

“You are awake! That’s good. I made you some tea, you head must be hurting a bit” He handed one to Marco and sat down on the bed at his side.

“Hey” Marco took a sip “What happened?”

“We were making out and you freaked out” Lewy spoke naturally, while Marco almost choked on his tea.

“I what?”

“You pushed me and started to scream when we were kissing” Lewy looked to Marco, who was starting to remember. He looked to his tea, looking the waves on it, his hands trembling. Lewy put his mug on the nightstand and took Marco’s mug for his hands, placing it in it’s side.

He opened his arms and Marco went for them, Lewy embracing him.

“Here you go, babe. You are okay, with me, now” Lewy whispered.

“I’m fine…” Marco sat again “And I’m so sorry I pushed you. I swear I didn’t mean to”

“I forgive you” Lewy nodded.

“Thanks”

“I think you should go home, I can take you there” Lewy said emotionlessly.

“Ok”

Marco his bag and put on back. He took the mug and drank the tea quickly, following Lewy to outside. Lewy didn’t say a word. He just put his hands on his pocket and looked to his shoes the whole way to Marco’s house.

Marco didn’t say a word neither. He was to afraid to say anything. Lewy was probably so mad at him. Or maybe he finally realized that Marco was insane and there was nothing that he can do.

But, he already saw worse from Marco. And Marco got better. So why now? He looked to Lewy and he was… Sad. He didn’t like that expression. He never liked to see anyone sad. He felt like he needed to say something, but he didn’t knew what.

They got in Marco’s house in a few minutes, the silence suffocating Marco. The first thing he saw was his mother’s car in the garden. She never was home before Marco had already went to sleep. And usually left before he could reach home.

“Seems like your mom is here. And I have to go” Lewy said, waving sadly.

“No, no. Robby, wait” Marco pulled his arm. Marco didn’t use this nickname since they started to date.

“What, Mar?”

“Are you mad at me?” Marco said, rubbing his own hands.

“Not exactly. I’m just… Forget it” Lewy ran his hands in his hair, snorting.

“Please, tell me” Marco begged, pulling Lewy to behind the car “Please”

“Is just that… How do I tell this… We were almost doing that and you just pushed me, and I don’t know what to think anymore” He shrugged.

“What do you mean?” Marco felt a knot in his stomach.

“I feel like I always try to give my everything for you, and you don't give me a moment, just a moment” Lewy put his hand in his pockets, looking to Marco, waiting for the answer.

Marco recapitulate. He never let he go to far. He owed to Lewy at least once. At least. Lewy did everything for him those years and what Marco did? Nothing. Ungrateful bastard. He needed Lewy, and he was always there, so why not give what Lewy needed?

Seeing the guilty look in Marco’s face, Lewy took his hand and squeezed it.

“Leave it alone. What about we go to Basti’s party tonight?” Lewy smiled, vanishing the sad look from moments before. Marco wanted to deny. He hated parties since then, but how could he say no to Lewy?

“Would be amazing”

“Perfect!” Lewy smiling, kissing Marco’s lips quickly “Now I have to go, you have your mother, and I don’t want her to see me here. Bye, love”

Marco rubbed his eyes and kicked the tire of the car. A party. In Bastian’s house. With the football team. How could this get even worse?

He opened the front door and threw his backpack on the couch. He looked around for his mother. She probably was upstairs. She must think he was with Lewy and she didn’t like him. Since the first day. Lewy said he shouldn’t listened to her, since she abandoned him.

Wasn’t the truth, but neither wasn’t a lie. He father traveled all the time, staying in home about three days per month. His mother worked in the hospital in the afternoons and evening, and he just saw her in the weekends. Which he was used to spend with Lewy.

But it was their fault. Marco didn’t say to them to work all the time. But was Marco’s fault too. Who would like to see everyday the failure that he become. To face every single day the bigger mistake that they ever done. Marco wouldn’t. So he usually avoided mirrors.

He went upstairs, stratching his forearm until it turned red.

“Mom?” He called and went for his parent’s room, pushing the door gently “Mom?”

She was sleeping. Of course she was. As if she would stay awake to talk to him.

He went for his room and opened his comfort box. But for the first time he didn’t find any.

 


	8. That’s What I Thought

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco ever felt as a fish outside the water. But never so much as he was feeling in the moment. Lewy said he had to talk with some friends and since them, he couldn’t find him anywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey hey! I don't know what to say, but I hope you guys like it!!  
> (and thanks for the kudos, and messages here and on tumblr. Love you all °3° )

Mario was still waiting outside David’s house. He knocked the door twice, but he didn’t show up.

“C’mon, David! Get out, you jerk!”, Mario shouted again.

“What?!”, David opened the door.

“Why you took so long?”

“Cause my life is not just you. I was busy”, David crossed his arms.

“Doing what?”, Mario went in David’s house.

“Nothing that you care about. What you want?”

“I was thinking about last day, and I’m going to compensate. We are going to Basti’s party. Get dressed”

“Why do you think I want to go?”, David complained.

“We are late…”, Mario sat on the couch, looking to his watch.

“I will put a clean shirt”, he ran upstairs.

“That’s what I thought”

Marco was still waiting for Lewy. And really wishing he had give up and they were just staying home watching some stupid show. But it didn’t work. Lewy came anyway.

“Hey, babe. Ready to go?”, He said kissing Marco quickly.

“Yeah, I think so”, he lied.

“No, wait. Don’t go with this shirt. It’s weird”, Lewy pointed to Marco’s monkey emoji shirt.

“But I like it”, Marco replied in low voice. It was one of his favorite shirts, and he always felt a little better using it.

“But it is ridiculous. Put the red one, with a jacket. And be quick, we are almost late”, Lewy pushed him inside. Marco nodded and ran upstairs.

“That’s what I thought”

 

Mario stepped inside. There were people everywhere. On the kitchen, on the living room and mostly outside, in the pool and in the football field. The only place without anyone was upstairs, Mario heard once that Basti’s parents gave to him only one rule for parties. Just on the floor. Everything else was allowed, so. The music was really loud and he couldn’t even find some familiar face.

David, in the other hand, was wondered by everything. Mostly by that girls that he didn’t have the most remote chance with.

“Go talk with them, tiger”, Mario joked, grabbing a soda from a table. David take the soda from Mario’s hand and took a sip, warming up, and ran to the living room.

Mario laughted. He should find a friend.

 

Marco ever felt as a fish outside the water. But never so much as he was feeling in the moment. Lewy said he had to talk with some friends and since them, he couldn't find him anywhere. He picked up a Coke (making sure it was coke) and rested his back in the corner of the wall.

He didn’t knew almost anyone there and the few he knew, he wished he didn’t.

Everything seemed different somehow, maybe because he wanted it to be. He make sure to take deep breaths and keep his mind far away for there, so he could stop the anxiety that was growing up in him. It was working, until he saw Bastian and Jerome walking towards him.

He looked to his feet and put his hands on the pockets.

“Hey, look who is here!”, Bastian said touching his shoulder “Lewy said he was bringing you, but I never thought you could actually get out of your cave”

Marco said nothing.

“Come on, talk to us. Don’t be such a bitch”, Jerome said blocking any way to Marco to walk away.

“I thought you were only Lewy’s little bitch”

“I’m not a bitch”, Marco mumbled.

“What did you say? You sucked so much dick today you can’t even talk?”

“I’m not a bitch”, Marco said louder, looking at Bastian’s eyes.

“First of all, you are already a bitch, don’t be a liar too. And second, watch your tone when you talk with me. Know your place”, Bastian said stabbing his chest with his finger.

“Just go away”, Marco said, this time, lower.

“Listen here”, Bastian pinned his arms to the wall “You don’t tell me what to do. I tell you what to do, ‘cause you are the whore here. Undestand, faggot?”

Marco nodded and Bastian let him go with a slap in the face. Marco rubbed his cheek and Bastian laughed, coming closer to him.

“You should hang out with us more, you know”, Bastian said at Marco’s ear “I like you. We all like. But you just talk with Robert, it breaks my heart” Marco could smell alcohol.

“I think I will find Lewy”, he thrashed away.

“Oh, no. We are having fun, aren’t we, Jerome?”

“Be nice, Marco. We are not telling anything to Robert”, Jerome said just watching at distance.

“But I should tell him something”, Marco started to say, but Bastian gave him another slap, in the other cheek.

“Which part of ‘know your place’ you didn’t undertand?”, Bastian grabbed his chin.

“Basti, I think I heard Robert calling his name”, Jerome touched and Basti’s shoulder and he snorted.

“Tell him one word, and I get you. And it won’t be pretty”, Marco nodded and Bastian stepped back “Hey, Robert! You saw you brought Marco, I was telling him that now I have to pay 20 bucks to Manu”

“I just had to ask, dumbass. I think I will need Marco now, ok?”, Lewy pulled him by the arm, with a playfull smile. Marco almost fainted.

Lewy kept pulling Marco until they were in the field.

"What were you talking with the guys?", Lewy said when they reach the corner.  

"They just asked why I never show up" wasn't a lie.

“Hm. Yeah, I see. Why you just don’t stay just here? They usually just go to the pool”, Lewy said kissing Marco’s cheek, that burned.

“Why you don’t stay a bit? I thought we were in this party to be together”, Marco said shyly.

“I’m sorry, but the guys keep calling me. And we spend a lot of time together, don’t be ungrateful”, Lewy pouted “Just stay here, I’ll be back sooner than you thing”

And walk away.

Lewy needed a drink. And a strong one. He knew he shouldn’t bring Marco along, but after everything he needed to check on him times to times. And not by message.

He finally found some beer and started to look for Thomas. And he saw him, the weird kid that was Mario’s friend. He never came to their parties, same with Mario that almost never showed up. But if the weird was there, so…

He needed to find Basti.

 

Mario walked to the field. Was a society field with perfect grass and he loved it. Oh, he wished he had one of those. He walked in the white lines, wishing he had a ball to play in there.

He was almost in the corner, when he was pretty sure someone put alcohol on his soda. No way Marco was there. But the hair was the same, the same white skin and the same expression. Sitting on the grass looking to the ground thoughtful.

“Marco?”, he said waving. Marco almost jumped to the other side of the field, but just looked up to Mario and gave him a little smile.

“Oh, hey”, he said running his hand though his hair.

“I never saw you here, do you always come?”, Mario sat at his side.

“No, actually. Lewy wanted me to came”

“Oh, where is him?”

“I don’t know. He just said he was going to talk with the guys a while ago”, Marco sighed.

“If you don’t want to stay, why you don’t go home?”, he frowned.

“He won’t let me”, Marco shrugged.

“Just say to him, ‘hey, man, I’m going home, this party is boring as hell’ and go”, Mario mimicked Marco and they both laughed.

“No, it’s not that simple, Mario”, Marco smiled “I will stay here anyway. Would be better”

“Yeah”, Mario looked to the sky. It was getting darker, and they could see the first star “Hey, you remember that little game that Erik’s mother told us once?”

Marco laughed. Erik’s mother told them a hundred little games, she had the biggest car so always drove them and spent all the time talking about jokes and games.

“Which one, Mario, she told us at least one thousand”, he laughed.

“The one with stars. The first star”, Mario pushed his shoulder.

“That stupid rhyme? That was ridiculous!”

“Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight…”, Mario sing-songed.

“I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight”, Marco mumbled.

“See! You remember!”, Mario giggled “I knew it!”

“Of course! She said it everything single time she drove us at night. Even when we had like thirteen!”, Marco smiled with the memory “I always had to hold Andre’s arm, otherwise he was going to jump of the car”

“I talked with Andre. Today”, Mario said carefully.

“Oh, really? How are them?”, Marco’s smile could touch his ears.

“Andre moved. But he said Mats, Erik and Kevin still are in Dortmund. He said he wanted to talk with you”

Marco looked to the ground. Lewy never let him use those social sites.

“I will try to talk with him, any time”, Marco said “I miss this”

Mario looked to him and opened his mouth to answer, but he didn’t have the time. Lewy was running to them. Mario patted Marco’s shoulder and pointed.

“Hey, Lewy, I found…”, Marco started.

“Come here”, Lewy said snarled and noticed Mario’s face “Please, Marco”

“Yes, sorry”, Marco stood up and followed Lewy.

“Lewy, wait, I…”, Mario hurried.

“Mario, just stay here, I need to talk with my boyfriend”, Lewy turned and Marco felt his face blush. And they left, Lewy pulling Marco behind him.

“He don’t tell me what to do”, Mario said to himself and followed them in distance.

They passed by Basti that handed Lewy something quickly and Marco seemed to not notice. They went upstairs and he missed their sight.

 

“I thought we couldn’t came here”, Marco said trying to walk at the same pace as Lewy.

“Yeah, but Bastian let me. No worries”, he stopped in front of a room, apparently guest, opened the door with a key and signaled him to come in. Marco entered and looked around.

“Why are we…”, Marco turned to see Lewy outside, closing the door. He ran and slammed on it “Lewy! Lewy open it! Lewy!” No answers, he slammed it again “Dammit, you can’t leave me here!”

Lewy opened the door, pushing Marco.

“You don’t tell me what I can or can’t do. I do this. You will stay here, and quiet, and I come back after the party. Oh, and give me the phone”

Marco handed to him and he closed the door with a bang. Soon after, he heard Lewy locking the door. He hugged his knees and closed his eyes, listening to the music and letting his mind dance.

 


	9. Good Plan, Moron

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I broke your record by the way. I dare you to break mine now. Uhum!”  
> “Ok, mister records, try to break mine in penalties”, Mario smiled brightly.  
> “Sir, Penalty is my middle name”  
> “Mine is Winner”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been writing this chapter since like five days ago. But so many things happened, my loves...  
> Hope you like it, till next time :3

Mario hid behind a door frame and waited until Lewy was far away. He came down alone, so Marco was up there. It was time to make all the 007 movies worth.

He needed to find a partner. That must be David. He ran to the same run he left David and saw him, talking with a brunette girl. Mario patted his back.  

“Bro. I need your help here”

“The guy I wanted to see”, David touched his shoulders “Man, I love you. No homo. But I love you”

“Keep that for you. But I need your help NOW”, Mario pulled him. David turned to the girl.

“I come back soon!”, he smiled and the girl waved “You know who was her? Katja, man. She know everything, about everyone. You know AK, the blondie? She has a crush on you!”

“David shut up one minute”, Mario stopped when they were on the kitchen. He checked the surroundings. Just a few people either busy or already had pass out.

“Ok, what you want, mister Bond? No, no. Don’t tell me. Is about Marco”, he crossed his arms.

“Yes! But it’s serious”, Mario started and David waited “Lewy just grabbed him upstairs and he didn’t come back” David waited. Mario raised an eyebrown.

“It’s just that? They are boyfriends, they are probably making out. Are you that jealous?”, David gave him a cynic smile.

“No. Because Lewy is down here. And Marco is still upstairs”, Mario pushed David’s face.

“So what? None of our business”, David stood up.

“Let’s go there. If he really want to be alone we leave him there!”, Mario begged.

David sighed.

“You will buy me burgers for at least a week”

“Deal!”

Marco tried to open the window, but it was locked. Unfortunately, that was turned to the front door, to the street. Well, if it was different, he couldn’t call anyone. He sat again with his back against the door and sighed. The closet and the bathroom was empty. The bed didn’t have a bedspread. The air smelled old and sultry. This room probably wasn’t used for ages.

The air was so heavy that make his chest hurt each breath. The walls were closing and he felt claustrophobic, like his lungs were also closing. He ran to the window again and stupidly tried to open it. But it was well closed. He slammed it with his firsts and bang it but nothing happened. No one came.

He cough and wiped his hands on his jeans, leaving a mark of dust. He covered his own mouth with his hands looked around. Maybe in the bathroom… No, the window was to small. Even if he could open it, that won’t worth nothing.

He left a little sob and went for the door again. He checked his pockets. He found just a few coins, his armband and his house key. He threw everything else on the floor and tried to put the key on the door lock, but it didn’t fit. He tried to push harder, but it as the same.

He threw it away and banged the door. He tried to bang harder and harder. But nothing happened. He kicked it over and over again, trying to break it, but even the sound was almost mute, due to the music that was even louder.

He screamed and leaned his forehead on the door. He felt stupid. As if he could break a door. As if he could do anything by himself. He could barely keep himself alive. He slipped his back though the door and hugged his knees, burying his face on them.

He felt them wet.

“So, for what we are looking for?” David said, in the last step of the stair, and looked at Mario, who trying to figure out the same thing.

“I don’t know. I didn’t even how to bring you up here”, Mario rubbed his forehead “We call his name?”

“Thanks, mister Bond”, David nodded. Why he didn’t just punch Mario and run away was a mistery.

“So…”, Mario took a deep breath.

“Call his name”, David encouraged.

“... But how?”, Mario blushed. What if someone were upstairs too?

“Ok. His name is Marco, right?”

“Yes”

“So you do like this”, David put a hand in his shoulder “MARCO ARE YOU THERE?”

Mario quickly covered his mouth. David smiled against Mario’s hand.

“Simple, isn’t it? Your turn”

Marco almost jumped to the bathroom. He heard someone calling him in distance, but wasn’t Lewy. Nor anyone he knew. He heard steps and pressed his ear against the door, wiping his eyes.

“Marco?!”, he heard again, but it was Mario’s voice. He wanted to scream to him, but he knew it would be trouble. “Marco, are you there?!”

He clenched his first to knock the door, but just touched it in frustration. Just a knock. He sighed and knocked it. And one more time.

“David! I think I heard something!”, he did it again. The voice came closer “Marco is that you?”

“Yeah”, He said ashamed of his hoarse voice.  

“What are you doing there?”

“To be honest, I have no idea”

“Robert put you in there?”, Mario asked, but already knew the answer. Marco sighed loudly.

“Yeah. But I’m okay”

“So you want us to leave?”, David said, hopefully.

“I... Well, if you guys want, you can go…”, Marco stammered.

“I’m not. You want me to come in?”, Mario stepped on David’s foot purposely.

“But it’s locked”, Marco whimpered.

“Wait a second”, he turned to David “Do the thing!”

“What? No!”, David stepped back.

“Oh, now you don’t want it. One week ago you were all like ‘oh I’m such a genious, I could open my house door without a keep, lets rob a bank’. No that we need it!”

“I did this on my own house. That’s Bastian Shenanigans Whatever house”, David turned back.

“Two weeks”, Mario said. Still Nothing “With french fries”

“You know ho to make a man happy. Where is my Swiss army knife?”, he looked in his pockets. He found and started to work on the door lock.

“You walk around with it all the time?”

“I’m a prevented boy. You can’t complain”

“If you said so. Just don’t kill me”, he knelt on the floor “Marco?”

“What?”, he said with his heart beating faster and faster. If Lewy decided to show up…

“Wait just a minute, okay?”, he stood up again. Marco nodded, but remembered that Mario couldn’t see him. And murmured a ‘yeah’ and moved away from the door, trying to look the less stupid as possible. So he sat on the mattress and crossed his arms.

“You can’t go faster?”, Mario rushed him.

“You know how to do this faster?”, David snapped.

“No…”

“So shut up”, David shook the lock one more time and the other side fell on the floor. He pushed the door and it opened. Mario walked in carefully.

“Hey”, he waved awkwardly.

“Hi”, Marco blushed.

Mario smiled and walked towards him. He noticed Marco’s eyes a bit red and the thin line in his cheeks. His hands were shaking slightly. He sat at his side, leaving for him a little space, between them.

“So. You are leaving with us?”, he asked trying really hard to not jump in Marco and give him a hug. Nor to jump on Lewy and kill him.

“No, I can’t. Lewy will come back, he would be really mad if leave”, he stammered. Mario clenched his firsts and sighed, frustrated.

“Man”, David said on the door frame “He is right, we shouldn’t even be here”

“We can’t just go away!”, Mario grunted.

“And we can’t stay”

“You… You can go. I will be… You know, fine”, Marco smiled. But he eyes said the otherwise. Don’t leave me here. I need to believe that you care.

“No way. David you can go, I will stay. Can you lock the door again?”, Mario said firmly. Marco eyes widened.

“Yes. I just need you to hold the inside part”

“Ok. I’m with my phone, call me if you see Robert coming upstairs”

“I will. Good luck, bro”, David didn’t even complained, just bump his first and left, with one side of the door lock. Mario closed the door and hold the other side, waiting for David’s signal. He heard a knock and released it, that stood still. He tried to open the door, but it was locked.

“Good job. Till later!”, he said and turned to Marco. He was blushing and avoiding Mario’s eyes, counting his coins and putting on his pocket. Mario sat at his side.

An awkward silence fell. Marco was tapping his feet on the floor and Mario looked around. Everything was so old and dirty like an old lodging. There had no curtains, no bedspreads, no towels. It was cold. Nice place to throw your boyfriend. What the hell was wrong with Lewy?

“So…”, Mario as trying to pick the right words “You want to… Do what?”

Marco shrugged.

“Ok…”, Mario sighed.

Marco wiped the sweat of his hands on his jeans. He opened his mouth and closed it again. He took a deep breath.

“I’m not with my phone. Do you have some game?”

“Yeah”, Mario smiled and picked up his phone “I have that demon bird, dumb ways to die, that one with questions and penalties”

“Give me the demon bird. I love this, but I unistall. Lewy said it was making me an idiot”, and grabbed the phone like he didn’t say nothing.

Mario looked to him carefully. He had the same spicky hair, really blonde, and still no lips at all. Was the same. But he always used long sleeves shirts and old Marco were almost alergic to shirts. He kept his head down, with his shoulders curved, as if he was trying to be smaller than everyone. He seemed to be smaller than Mario. Old Marco walked on tiptoes, trying to prove he was taller than everyone. Old Marco loved football and never acepted to be locked somewhere. Old Marco was free.

How sad was that “Old Marco” was a thing.

Mario noticed that he was staring at Marco for a really long time and looked away, blushing. Marco was still on the stupid game. After a few second, the stupid bird hit his head on the floor and the game was over.

“Yes, baby! Three hundred fifteen”, Marco jumped and lifted his firsts on the air “I broke your record by the way. I dare you to break mine now. Uhum!”

“Ok, mister records, try to break mine in penalties”, Mario smiled brightly.

“Sir, Penalty is my middle name”

“Mine is Winner”

After an hour, or even more, Mario placed his phone on his pocket. They were lying in the bed and the mattress tingled even though the fabric. Marco sighed loudly and pointed to the ceiling.

“Do you remember when we went for Mats’ house and it was a freaking deluge outside?”

“Yes. It had water leaks everywhere”, Mario laughed “We made a drop race. I think we never were so bored. But it was really fun”

“I wish it were raining”, Marco said but couldn’t continue, with Mario’s phone buzzing.

“He is coming up? Already? Ok, I will think in something. Ok, ok, bye!”, Mario threw it in his pocket “Is Lewy, quick!”

“Ahn… Ahn…”, Marco looked around, with his heart racing “The bathroom, go, go!”

Mario ran and Marco grabbed his arm.

“Thank you, Sunny”, He smiled and released Mario, that needed a second to start moving again.

Marco sat on the floor and rested the back of his head on the mattress. Mario pressed his ear in the door. He heard the key and Lewy opened the door.

“Hey, babe, are you okay?”, Lewy said softly, pulling Marco for a hug. Marco hugged him back and buried his face on the crook of his neck. Lewy kissed the top of his head “Now, let’s go downstairs, you have to eat something, thin bones”

“Right”, Marco smiled and followed him to the corridor. Lewy took the key and locked the door. Marco panicked, Mario as still in there. He opened his mouth to say anything, but nothing would worth. He just lowered his head and hold Lewy’s hand.

Mario slammed the door in frustration. Good plan, moron. Of course he was going to lock the door again! Great, just great! He tried to call David again and again, but he didn’t answer. He sat on the floor and was going to try again, when the phone turn off. No battery.

He was about to throw the phone on the wall when he heard someone knocking the door.

“Mario? It’s David”

He ran to the door.

“It’s me! I’m locked here”, Mario said in defeat.

“Ok, I will try to open again. And bro, there’s something weird going on down there...”

“What? Is Marco ok?”, Mario’s eyes widened.

“I don’t know. He was just drinking soda and it was too suspicious. Right before Robert come here, they were talking and I could hear part of it, but I don’t know if this mean something”

“What? What he said?”

“Just one sentence, ‘will be easier to convince him’”

Marco drank the second cup that Lewy handed to him. It had an awful taste and was hard to swallow it. His head was dizzy and everything seemed to be slow motion. He took another sip. It was starting to taste better and he felt relaxed.

He looked to his cup and blinked. It was supposed to be glowing? It was funny actually. He never saw any drink that glowed. He took another sip. His hand was glowing too! Maybe it was a gay thing. He looked up. What the sun was doing so late? Maybe he was wasted like him. Poor sun.

He finish the cup and tried to put the cup upright on the table but it kept falling. The cup was like the sun.

Wonderful soda, he must drink it more often. Looked like alcohol.

“See?”, he heard some voice next to him “He don’t even know his name by now”

“Let me check”, it was Lewy. Lewy. What a stupid name… But Lewandowniski, or whatever, was worse “Marco? You are ok? Where are you?”

“At sun’s house. He is up there, don’t be rude”, he whispered and pointed to the ceiling lamp.

“Maybe we should go home, ok?”, Lewy laughed.

“Fine, fine. Say sun that I see him tomorrow morning”, Marco said and Lewy hold his waist, helping him to walk. Marco blacked out shortly after.

When Mario went down, he ran to the kitchen, where David saw Marco for the last time. But there was only Thomas trying to talk with Manu that was really drunk.

“Hey, Tommy, did you saw Marco?”

“He left a while ago with Lewy. Why?”

“Nothing, I just… I think I found, something…”, Mario hold the yellow armband inside his pocket.

“What did you…”, Thomas started, but Manuel’s groan interrupted him.

“I’m going to throw up again”, He said and ran away.

“Seems like I need to go. Bye, Mario”, Thomas ran too “Manu, stay away from the carpet!”

Mario sighed, going look for David.


	10. Nothing Happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hello…”, Sven said sleepish.  
> “Oh, hey, Manni. It’s… It is… Marco”, he said walking around. Sven sat on the bed, yawning.  
> “Hey, Marco, how can I help you?”  
> “You’re sleeping, oh my god, I’m so sorry. I will…”  
> “Dude, calm down. Now tell what is the problem”  
> “First, I don’t know where am I”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READ THIS PLEASE. NOW.  
> This chapter must content potential triggers, such as implied Rape and Abuse, but no porn scenes. Please, if you don't like this kind of subject, don't read it. Anyways, you can read the next chapter and skip this one, you will still can fully understand the plot and no more triggers.   
> Thanks for understand, normal notes on the end :)

Marco came back to the world slowly. He was laying on something soft. His head was hurting like someone hit it with a hammer. Repeatedly. He tried to move, but he couldn’t feel his body at all, his legs were numb and his arms were heavier than ever. And someone was taking away his shirt.

He opened his eyes, but everything was a blur, he couldn’t see nothing. He whimpered and tried to push the person away, the panic growing in his throat.

“Hey, it’s only me”, Lewy said at his ear “Take it easy, don’t panic now. It’s only me… They told me that you were going to sleep a little longer, but I guess it’s ok, right?”

He leaned to him and kissed his lips, running his fingers on his hair. Marco breathed heavily and tried to move away, but he couldn’t even see straight, just the colors dancing at his sight. He took a deep breath when Lewy parted away and pushed him. Even this move made him want to throw up.

“Marco, stay calm”, Lewy said softly, sitting on his heels, still on top of Marco “You are just nervous, that’s normal, you know. Everybody feels that”

“I… I can’t…”, Marco stammered, his tongue stuck on the palate. Lewy cupped his head and moved it on the pillow. Marco didn’t have the strength to resist even that.

“You can. You know this. Let’s do like this, ok. You just stay calm. And breath. I won’t hurt you too much, or at least I don’t want to do it. Trust me”, Lewy said casually. Marco gulped “Now I will turn you like this”

Lewy held his side and helped him to lay on his stomach, and placed his dead hands under the pillow. He took away Marco’s trousers and boxers.

“Perfect, my love. You are perfect. I love you”, Lewy said, spreading his numb legs.

Marco just pretended that the night ended with those words.

 

Mario found David a few minutes later. He was already talking with the girl with the weird name like it wasn’t the weirdest night he ever lived. Mario just sat on the couch and waited. He needed to find Marco, but as far as he knew, Lewy was with his phone. And even if he wasn’t, Mario didn’t know his number.

He felt so stupid that it hurted.

After some minutes he was feeling so drained and rested his head on his hands. But every time he closed his eyes, he saw Marco’s face. His blond hair, pale face and that crocked smile. He shook his head, trying to make the thought fly away, but aparently, this is not how the human mind works. He tried again, but Marco’s celebrating the stupid record break came to his mind.

So he accepted the fact that he was going to stay awake forever.

“Mario. Mario… MARIO!”, David shouted.

“What?”, he said still looking at the same spot.

“Let’s go home. You are tired and all of that was… More than I expected from a party to be honest, so I’m too”, David pulled his arm and Mario rubbed his face. He could answer with a sassy comment, but he was too tired and too worried for all this shit.

He followed David to outside, just wishing he could see Marco soon.

 

Marco woke up in the next morning feeling all his body hurt. He turned to face the ceiling and discovered that his back hurts a lot more than it should. He was feeling a mess, all sticky and sweaty. He combed his hair with his fingers, trying to feel more tidy, but it didn’t work at all. And he was, for some reason naked. He tried to remember the night before, but nothing made sense and his head started aching again, so he focused on something else. He rubbed his eyes and looked to his side. Lewy was sleeping there.

He tried really hard to not scream and run away.

He looked under his sheet. He was naked too. Marco felt hard to breath. He looked to the ground. His clothes were tossed on the floor, even his underwear. The room started to spin. He wiped his forehead and pick up his boxers from the floor and put it. Don’t even thinking, he picked up all his clothes and put it hurriedly, feeling the urge to get out of there before Lewy woke up.

In the nightstand, everything as a mess. He ignored the open tube thrown on it and saw his phone, near Lewy’s. He put it on his pocket and ran though the door.

Carefully avoiding the kitchen and the living room, he ran from the back door. Only a few blocks away from there he stopped and, panting, thought what he was going to do. He couldn’t go home, that as the first place Lewy as going to look for him. He walked though the main road and tried to clean his mind.

It wasn’t the first time he ran away from Lewy.

That was when he forgot his phone at home and went for the Bender’s house. They had an argument that ended with Lewy slapping his face and screaming that or Marco obeyed him or he was making sure that his life was  a living hell again. Marco ran away for his house and locked himself in his room.

Later Lewy went to there and talked with him. That he had an awful day and vented on Marco, what was wrong and he promised was never happening again. Marco forgave him. But he never forgot that Lewy had total power to make his life a hell.

He thought about that day when walked aimlessly for Munich streets. He didn’t even looked at the signs to see where he was going. He couldn’t be more lost than he already was.

He tried to recall the night. He went down and Basti gave one drink to Lewy that handed it to him and he drank. He drank another and everything changed. Everything was bright then become dark. And woke up one a bed with two blue eyes on him. And then, fear. And pain. And shame for being so weak.

Maybe he shouldn’t cry on the streets, maybe he needed to.

He gulped and bit his lower lip. He grabbed his phone tight, afraid that he was going to drop it with his shaky hands. Lewy deleted all his contacts but his and Marco’s parents, but Marco thought in a way before that. He copied them on a note, in the end of the list and Lewy never found it. Marco called Sven, maybe as the only one that he wasn’t sure that hated him.

“Hello…”, Sven said sleepish.

“Oh, hey, Manni. It’s… It is… Marco”, he said walking around. Sven sat on the bed, yawning.

“Hey, Marco, how can I help you?”

“You’re sleeping, oh my god, I’m so sorry. I will…”

“Dude, calm down. Now tell what is the problem”

“First, I don’t know where am I”, Marco said trying to stabilize his voice. Sven stood up and grabbed his jacket and shoes. Lars was still sleeping, so he didn’t wake him.

“Are you hurt?”, Sven picked up the car keys, even knowing that he couldn’t drive without his parents.

“No, I’m ok, I guess. I just want to go to somewhere else”, Marco tried to find the name of the street where he was “Do you know where Mario’s live?”

“Yes, I take you there”, Sven relaxed “Where are you?”

Sven knew the street and got there within minutes. He looked up and down of Marco, trying to see any bruise or sign of.

“So. Let’s go”

“Thank you, I didn’t want to be a burden, I just…”, Marco stammered.

“It’s ok. Let’s go and you tell me what happened, ok?”, Sven opened the door for him and Marco nodded.

But he didn’t talk. And Sven noticed and didn’t forced him to. And pretended he didn’t notice that Marco was having problems to sit down. He took his on conclusions. After a few minutes, he could see Mario’s house.

 

Mario woke up but didn’t leave his bed. He couldn’t stop thinking about Marco and what happened to him. Maybe David misunderstood the conversation, but that “maybe” worried him. He looked to the armband. Yellow as the sun.

Sunny.

When he had 10 years, his mom called him like this. He went to the school to get him and shouted.

“Sunny, c’mon, your dad is waiting!”

It was enough, the boys heard her and never have forgotten the incident. First was a mock, and he got angry. Kevin and Mats seemed to forgot the name Mario. Everything was Sunny. The time passed by and they stopped, seeing that Mario didn’t like the nickname all the time.

But with Marco was special. He called once in a while, just to make sure he remembered it. And he liked it.

He looked to the note his mom left. She said that she was working all day and was sorry (and a sad emoji) and the lunch was on the fridge. He looked to his clock. 8am. He should get up.

Nah.

He turned the TV on and tried to find something nice to watch when the bell rang. He groaned and was going to call his mom when he remembered he was alone. He ran his hand though his hair, just to get stuck in a knot and went down anyway. Mario rubbed his eyes and opened the door.

“Hi”, Marco said shyly “Your mom said I could come anytime”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO. My life is a mess right now and this fanfic is the light of my life. So I will keep it up, no matter what. But. I'm a lot busy with school and maybe an uni next week, I don't know yet. So, I will update on Saturdays, starting with this one. Anyway, I can post on a Sunday in a busy week. Luv ya guys.  
> And I loved your comments and kudos, I'm really happy. Even on this chapter, I need to know what you guys think. So I can improve not only this fanfic but myself as a writer. Tell me. Throw something on me. Been a rock or a flower.   
> Kisses from Debby °3°


	11. Go Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So what happened by the night? I couldn’t find you when I went down yesterday”, Mario asked from the bathroom, trying to make his hair acceptable.  
> “I just… I had… A small fight with Lewy. Nothing serious, he was… I mean, I was… I needed some air”  
> “Hum, I see”, Mario said and opened the door “So let’s get some air outside. You, me and a football”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and comments, you guys give me life <3  
> And sorry for the last chapter. This one have fluff, fights and... We can see what happened wih Marco!  
> But remember: Can you really trust in some people?

Mario stared at him for some seconds before he stammered.

“Yes, yes, come in”, he moved away from the door, and Marco came in, nodding shyly. Mario closed the door and walked in, passing by a mirror and noticing that a) he was still on his pajamas b) his hair was like a nest of a pre historical bird, that was drunk. He ran his fingers quickly though his hair, but it had so many knots that his fingers got stuck in it “Can we go upstairs, I net just to change my clothes, I was in the bed until a moment ago…”

“Really? I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I can leave if you want”, Marco walked to the door again, but Mario stopped him.

“No, no. I’m so happy you are here”, he said, but Marco didn’t seem to believe “I truly am, Marco, come on. I just need to change my clothes, my mom hate when I spend the day with the pajamas”

“Is she here?”

“Nope. Working. She spend a day there like once a month”, he said walking upstairs and Marco followed him “I hate being alone here and David is kinda tired of my face, so, glad you are here”

Marco smiled brightly and leaned his back on the wall, while Mario was on the bathroom.

“And I’m glad I’m here too”, he replied shyly.

“So what happened by the night? I couldn’t find you when I went down yesterday”, Mario asked from the bathroom, trying to make his hair acceptable.

“I just… I had… A small fight with Lewy. Nothing serious, he was… I mean, I was… I needed some air”

“Hum, I see”, Mario said and opened the door “So let’s get some air outside. You, me and a football”

“I think there’s air inside here too”, Marco considered.

“Ok, you nerd. Xbox. You chose the team”, Mario gave his hand and Marco shook it, smiling brightly.

 

After Mario lost five matches against Marco, he gave up. And Marco laughed a little, but in the end he felt guilty. He didn’t know why, but he felt.

“So what, I have some movies, you can chose”, he pointed to the screen and sat on the couch.

“Anything is good for me, I… I watch everything, I guess”

“We don’t have one year or stuff, so… I don’t know”, Marco shrugged. He never made the decisions.

“So I can chose?”, Mario asked rising his eyebrows, Marco always choose everything, but he kinda enjoyed being on this position.

“Anything”, Marco sat and lowered his shoulders, relaxing.

“So you, me and a football. What about this?”, Mario said standing up.

“Yes, of course”, Marco faked the excitation.

He never played football with other people since his last day on the team, when Manuel gave him a tackle that torned his ankle hamstring. He never came back to the pitch and even when he wanted to, Lewy was there to stop him. He said Marco just hadn’t born to do this anyway.

But he tried freestyle, when he was bored and Lewy wasn’t there.

“I won’t make it easy for you, just saying”, Mario grabbed the bag with his football anf ran to the front garden. Marco ran right after him.

Maybe he could breath for once.

 

Lewy turned the corner on Mario’s street. Marco wasn’t at home and he didn’t have any other “friend” besides Mario, so the only place he could be was with him. He sighed. Just hoped that Marco was being a god boy and not telling him about the night. Mario could fill his head with a lot of shit.

But he wasn’t worried. Marco was a good boy.

He fixed his hair and looked to the street. It was so sweet, but he wondered which one was Mario’s. Glad in the end he didn’t have to look for him, they where playing in the front of the house. He walked towards the gate and watched. Marco was on goal and Mario was on his back to Lewy, to kick a penalty.

Marco was smiling, letting Mario take his time, and then he saw Lewy, that waved with a grin. Marco’s mouth opened to say something when Mario kicked the ball. Straight to Marco’s head.

Mario ran to him, but Lewy was in his way even before Marco could reach the ground. Lewy pushed Mario out of his way and pulled Marco to himself. The blonde just rubbed head and hissed, not fully understanding the situation.

“See, this is why I don’t let you play football!”, Lewy growled. Marco, that heard Lewy, flinched. Mario catched his look that was almost… Fear.

“What are you doing here?”, Mario said crossing his arms and frowed.

“Excuse me?”, Lewy said annoyed and turned to Marco again “Are you hurt? Look at me”

“I’m fine”, Marco mumbled trying to look to Lewy’s face, but to scared to.

“No. You’re far away for this. There’s a bruise on you forehead and you’re trembling”, Lewy pulled his arm and hold him tight at his side “We are going home. Right now”

“No. I don’t…”, Marco tried to say but Lewy cut him.

“We are going home, Marco”, he say softly.

“Marco”, Mario said and Lewy suddenly remembered that he was still there “Do you want to stay?”

“I…”, he looked to Lewy.

“Excuse us a moment”, Lewy smiled and pulled Marco to the other side of the garden.

Mario wanted to go there and but Marco looked at him and mouthed to him to stay there.

“What you want?”, Lewy said rising his eyebrows.

“I want to stay a bit. Mario is my friend”, Marco said looking to his hands.

“A friend? Really? You are going to trust him? Marco, you are too naïve fot this world I swear”, Lewy rubbed his face impacient.

“Why not? He was my friend before”, Marco said offended.

“Before. You said yourself that he left and don’t talked with you until now. So my question is. What he is doing now? Why he is talking to you now? He is in Munich for a couple months, why he didn’t talked with you before? What he wants?”, Lewy said holding Marco’s head to make he look at his eyes. Marco freed himself and lowered his head and shoulders, looking to his pants. The pants that were tossed on the floor.

“I don’t know…”

“Do you still want to stay?”, Lewy hold his hands.

Marco shrugged.

“Is this about yesterday’s night?”

Marco shrugged again.

“Marco, unsderstand. I didn’t do this to hurt you. On the otherwise. The first time, it hurts. A lot. I didn’t want you to feel this. As I said, I never expected that you was going to wake up. You were supposed to sleep the whole time”, he cupped Marco head, looking at his eyes that were full of fear, and now were full of confusion.

“You didn’t even ask me”, Marco said blinking fast.

“I asked you before, but you were scared. But it wasn’t such a thing like rape, I didn’t forced you to do nothing. I couldn’t do this to you”, Lewy said softly “Do you understand this?”

Marco thought a little and nodded.

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes”, Marco said and Lewy pulled him to a hug.

“Wait outside”, Lewy whispered and Marco nodded, going outside. Lewy walked towards Mario “Thank you. Good bye. I really hope you will stay far way from Marco. Things won’t be pretty”, he whispered.

“Are you threatening me?”, Mario said in disbelief.

“No. I’m showing facts”, Lewy said coldly.

“You know I can tell this to Marco, right?”

“Your world against mine. In which one he will believe? The friend that was gone in the worst moment possible or the one who stayed at his side in this time?”, Lewy smirked and turned to leave “Have a nice day!”

Mario was left mouth open, looking Lewy away with Marco.

Even if Marco turned to wave for him and mouth a thank you. Sunny.

 

Mario spent the whole day on his couch, watching tv and feeling like punching someone. Mostly Lewy. He was already getting hungry when the door bell rang. It was already in time to his mom got home. He ran to the door and opened it.

“Hi”, Lewy waved. Mario was going to close the door, but Lewy put his foot on the doorway “Can we talk for a moment, please? One second and I go away”

“I don’t want to hear anything for you. Go away already for you perfect world, with you perfect boyfriend or whatever shit you want, I don’t care”

“No, you care. About Marco, and I respect that. So we need to talk”, Lewy answered calmly “Can I come in, please?”

Mario moved from the way and Lewy walked into, looking around.

“I really like your house, your mother have an amazing taste”, he said nodding.

“Oh, shut up”, Mario cut him and pointed to the couch “Just, please go to the point”

Lewy looked to his eyes as if he could read everything about him and smiled. Mario shivered on his neck. Lewy’s caused him a bad feeling, as if everything around were going exactly as he planned earlier. This freaked Mario, he usually liked to be on control of his own life.

“I’m sorry for my behavior from moments ago, I wasn’t thinking”

“To the point”, Mario snorted.

“Ok. Since you got a ride to him and stalk us on facebook, I started to worry about this, about you. I know you were his friend, I understand that you wanted to talk with him again. But all his friends left him a long time ago and never came back. Why are you still there?”, Lewy sound concerned.

Mario only saw red.

“Because I can see he is not ok. You can see the way he looks, the way he walks, the... The way he speaks. He is NOT ok. And you are a big part of the problem, you need to let him free!”

“I am the problem? No… You like to pretend you know everything about him. But you don’t. You left him a long time ago, you were the first one to push him. So don’t point your finger at me trying to make me feel bad about what I do, because I know hat is the best for him. You just want your friend back. But he is gone. Deal with it”, Lewy said emotionless.

“You don’t know shit, you only know how to be one”, Mario spat.

“You don’t know NOTHING. I’m not a problem for him, Mario, I’m what keeps him alive”, Lewy stood up and rubbed his face. Mario stopped “Thomas told me about your interest in Lukas’ party, you still have it?”

Mario looked to his feet ashamed and nodded.

“Just don’t ever tell him I told you that. He don’t want anyone know about this. Can I have your word?”

“Yes”, Mario moved on the couch and Lewy sat down.

“Ok. When Marco arrived here, he was excited. A lot. He wanted new friends, play on the team, be a good student. But more than everything, he wanted things to be different. As you must know well, he suffered a lot after you left. But he had a fresh start. The problem, the real one, is that some people didn’t like him. Lukas was a friend of those people, so in his party, they decided to make a prank with him. They pretended they wanted to be his friends and called him”

“I don’t know everything that happened, never wanted to know. What I know, because I was there, is that they got him in the middle of a round of them. They pushed him, kicked him, called him a lot of things that I don’t even will repeat. Someone even threw a cup of glass on him. And he didn’t have how to run away. He asked why they were doing this, since he thought they were friends. Jerome asked who wanted to be friend with ‘his kind of person’. He pushed everyone out of his way and ran away. They only laughted”

Mario looked to ground and thought in something to say.

“So what you did?”, he asked without move his sight.

“I followed him. He started to run, and I did it too. He probably wasn’t even thinking of where he as running, but I followed him anyway. We went far away from the house and got into a large grove, the one near the main road, and he collapsed on the floor. He started to cry, like loud and screaming. He took a piece of glass and pressed on his wrist. But it wasn’t so easy, he made more and more, and they bleed, but he wanted deep, and he didn’t had the courage”

“He threw the glass away and started to scream. He didn’t… He looked mad, completely out of his mind. I just watched, honestly, I was afraid. He threw himself against a tree and the blood was still flowing in his arms and he started to punch the tree and hit his own head on it. I never saw nothing like this before, he was crazy, insane. His head started to bleed too and I couldn’t stood still anymore. I ran and pinned him against the ground. He was still screaming, and crying and thrashing”

Lewy was breathless, after speaking fast and cleaned his throat. Mario, in the other hand, was speechless. He never thought it was so bad.

“He stopped, exhausted and sobbing. His face, his hair… I still can see, Mario. I took my coat and tied on his head, and used his own on his wrists and helped him to walk. I took him to hospital to say that he was hit by a motocycle. He didn’t speak until two days later. After that, I had to fix him. His parents, he was and still is a shame for them, they work or sleep when Marco is at home. I was the only one who cared. And you was far away, you and your stupid clique”

Mario rubbed his eyes.

“I didn’t know…”

“Yeah. Is so easy to go and put a finger on my face. Blame me. Of course he is not okay. Who would be? He don’t know why he gone mad, he still face the same people who made this to him every single day. He can’t be free, he will die!”, Lewy’s face was red “Now, what you will do is leave us alone. You have to understand that he need to be far away from people like you, you are doing no good for him. You and those people that said that were ‘friends’. Leave. Us. Alone”

He stood up and left. Mario looked around, with the certainty that he didn’t know nothing. But he wasn’t going to step back.

He couldn’t.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10 days I'm so so sorry  
> My life was a mess but now is everything okay, I'll have more time to write this, and the neumer one. Even ABSO.  
> Love u all <3  
> BONUS:  
> Next chapter we can get a look on the future again! How is Marco in the hospital?


	12. A Human Being After All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was alive.   
> Alive. In every beat. Alive  
> Maybe for the first time since he remembered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look who is heeeere!!  
> As I said, I will have lots of free time since my classes dont start until june, so... ENJOY!  
> Oh, and thanks for kudos, and comments, if you are a new reader, welcome! Btw thanks to my brazilians that are speaking portuguese over there. Luv ya.

12\. A HUMAN BEING AFTER ALL

Mario walked towards the bed and took a look on Marco. The bruises were getting darker with the time and which already was a nightmare was even worse now. The doctors needed to know what happened with the blond boy, but Mario didn’t want to tell them, he didn’t feel on the right to. After the first surgery, the questions started, mostly because the broken wrist and bruises that were showing now.

Mario gently touched the purple one on his cheekbone, stroking it as gently as he could with his fingers tips. The other hand touched Marco’s plaster, on his wrist. His fingers were bluish and cold, so Mario took them on his hand, doing his best to keep them warm.

Marco’s life was almost out of danger, and Mario’s mom wanted to go home with her son, but the doctor said that he needed Mario here. For some reason, Marco’s heartbeat was more steady when Mario was next to him. And Mario’s too. So they decided that would be better for both to stay together.

Mario kissed his forehead and sat on his chair, holding Marco’s cold hand and rested his head on his chest and smiled. He spent all the time he could listening to his heartbeat. He was alive.

Alive. In every beat. Alive

Maybe for the first time.

~

Marco slept as soon as he got home. He was too tired to think about Mario’s words. Or Lewy’s. He just fell on his bed and curled himself with his pillow, and within seconds he was already snoring softly.

But it wasn’t as peaceful as he wish.

On his dream, he felt exposed. He couldn’t move or scream. Everything was so dark that didn’t matter if his eyes were open or close. He took a deep breath and tried to scream again, but nothing happened, he could hear a thing. And it started. A hand touched his face. Another his belly. Another his arms. His legs. His hair. They started to ripping out his clothes and he panicked, calling for help desperately. They touched every inch of his naked body and scratched it until he felt his blood. Marco felt his cheeks wet and suddenly there was light.

It’s was afternoon. The sun was orange. He touched his body, he was ok. But wet. He was covered with sweat, but it wasn’t the first time he woke up lie this. He stood up, trying to fight with his legs, that were shaking.

He went for the bathroom and put his head under the water from the sink. It was too cold, but he was grateful for this. He grabbed a towel and dried his hair and face, feeling more awake. He was considering took a shower when the door bell rang. He took another shirt and change it, running down stairs.

He ran his hand though his hair, trying to not look so bad and opened the door.

“Hey, love, how are you?”, Lewy said hugging him. Marco nodded and hugged back, gratefully “What you were doing?”

“Sleeping”, Marco said trying to sound casual, but his voice was still hoarse and his hands trembling. Lewy pouted.

“Bad dream?”

“Is it so obvious?”, Marco sighed looking to his feet.

“No. I just know you”, Lewy smiled and took his hand, leading him upstairs “And I know, too, what will make you forget it. I bought a movie and chips and myself”

Marco smiled and ran after him. This could be a nice day, finally.

 

Mario opened the computer and looked for Andre on the online list. He needed to talk with someone, but David was talking with the Miss-Weird-Name again. When Andre finally go in, he clicked on his name.

_mariogoetze: Andreeeeeee_

_andreshuerrle: whaaaaaaat_

_mariogoetze: i need your help :(_

_andreschuerrle: go on_

_mariogoetze: i find more stuff about the marco thing but now im confused_

_andreschuerrle: ok, what did you found?_

_mariogoetze: first of all im so angry because lewy but i fell guilty about it_

_andreschuerrle: first of all what did he do?_

_mariogoetze: he threated me! he told me to stay away from marco when he came here >:(_

_andreschuerrle: he what? omg mario start with the start im confused_

_mariogoetze: ok ok  sorry_

_mariogoetze: marco came here today, i wasnt even awake. but he said he fought with lewy and blablabla we watched some movies, played games, we even played football (and hes still as good as he was) but then lewy came here and talked with him and took him away._

_mariogoetze: After he told me that if i kept talking with marco “things wont be pretty”_

_mariogoetze: CAN YOU BELIEEV IT_

_mariogoetze: believe*_

_andreschuerrle: :OOO_

_andreschuerrle: then what?_

_mariogoetze: he came back later and apologized -_-_

_mariogoetze: then we get to point, I dont know what to think about him now, he told me what happened with marco._

_mariogoetze: and hes is manipulative and moody and do a lot of stuff that i dont understand but somehow makes sense now._

_andreschuerrle: stop it and tell me what happened for gods sake._

_mariogoetze: sorry_

_mariogoetze: so he told me he got there all happy and excited for the new start but the guys made a prank with him, pretending  they were frinds, but they only humiliate him and he ran away, lewy followed him and stopped him when he gone mad and tried to kill himself._

_andreschuerrle: …_

_mariogoetze: since then he tried to “fix” marco and i feel so guilty now :c_

_mariogoetze: even for blame him for doing this wih marco._

_andreschuerrle: i feel guilty i didn’t keep him here or at least called him before._

_andreschuerrle: but mario_

_andreschuerrle: he hurts marco?_

_mariogoetze: my bet is yes, marco dont look happy at all_

_andreschuerrle: so_

_andreschuerrle: lewy dont own marco because of this. he is not his property. he is human being, so if he is hurting marco this have to stop._

_mariogoetze: i guess you are right…_

_andreschuerrle: i really need to go there. really_

_mariogoetze: yeeeeees_

_andreschuerrle: but i really need to go now. im moving again._

_mariogoetze: oh. for where now?_

_andreschuerrle: wolfsburg. the u20 wants me :D_

_mariogoetze: OMG GOOD LUCK_

_andreschuerrle: all i can say is good luck for you too, super mario. See ya._

_mariogoetze: see ya too._

_andreschuerrle left the chat_

 

Marco nestled at Lewy side, feeling sleepy. Lewy looked at him and smiled. He ran his fingers tips on his spine and on the back his neck, making he shiver. He loved it. Marco was so ticklish, so sensitive over his touches. Lewy could stay all day like this.

He took away his arm and Marco looked to him.

“Lie in the middle of the bed, love”, Lewy said and Marco obeyed “Yes, like this”

Lewy sat on top of him and cought his lips, holding his neck, and touching everything he could reach with his tongue. Marco’s eyes were closed and he melted under Lewy, that tried hard to not smile widely. How easy. He slipped his hand under Marco shirt and teased one nipple while still kissing him. Feeling this, opened his eyes widely and tried to push Lewy gently.

Lewy backed off and sat over his heels.

“Marco tried to calm down”, Lewy said feeling Marco’s eyes staring at him with the same feeling as the night before “Ok lets do like this”

Lewy stood up and pulled Marco with him. Then he sat on the middle of the bed and tapped his lap. Marco blushed, but obeyed him, wrapping his legs around Lewy waist, and he pulled the blonde’s arms to him shoulders.

“Love, you know that now you are ready, right?”, Lewy said calmly.

“I don’t… Think so…”, Marco stammered.

“Yes, you are. Just let me take the control. Yesterday I prepared you, and you’re ready now”, Lewy took away his shirt and Marco’s.

“I still don’t feel comfortable with this”, Marco blushed.

“And you will never feel until you get used to it. The first time was awful, I know, but this time will hurt less and won’t bleed”, Lewy said stroking and caressing his back.

“I bleed?”, Marco’s eyes widened.

“Yes, Marco, this happens to everyone on the first time. Even girls”, Lewy said impatient “This won’t happen again”

“You promise?”, Marco bit his lips.

“Yes. Now trust me”, Lewy pulled his legs closer, their chests together.

Marco thought. He owed everything he was now to Lewy. He just needed to stay calm and don’t freak out like the last time. He nodded and tried to smile.

Lewy smiled and pulled his head to a kiss with one hand, while the other one went down his spine.


	13. Better than "I'm sorry"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Thank God!”, Mario said and ran to the door.   
> “Ok, I really hope you have a good reason for call me at 7am on a sunday, or I swear to God…”  
> “Just shut up, come upstairs”, Mario said and looked outside the house, like looking for someone hidden, and ran to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M ALIVE. For now. So, my lame excuses are at the end of the chapter.   
> I just want to say thank you for everyone who didn't leave this fic, for everyone who message me saying that missed it, and for you kudos and stuff. I love y'all so so much.   
> And a big shout out to jesesmorata who message me everyday asking what excuse I had to not write anything. I don't know how I could even survive without you that long.   
> So. For the chapter, is a bit tiny, not the huge comeback I expected, but yeah. Better times to come.   
> Hope you like it!

Marco woke up despite his body’s protests. He was feeling dizzy and, in a certain way, numb by his sore body. Everything he wanted was to sleep again, but he didn’t knew if he could, as he could see the sunshine in his window, breaking the monotony of the gray sky of the night. Despite his sweaty body, he felt cold, and he ran his fingers slightly though his forehead to release his wet hair.

Rubbing his eyes, he looked around and felt better realizing that was in his own room, in his own home. Maybe everything as just a nightmare, or something like this, since Lewy wasn’t anywhere near.

“Marco, are you awake already?”, Lewy said from the doorway. Apparently he just took a shower, because his hair was also wet. But his was only water.

“More or less”, Marco answered trying to sit down “Why are you awake so early?”

“I want to go home now. Talk to my parents about some stuff”, he sat on the bed “But you can sleep more. It’s sunday”

Marco nodded, but he wasn’t feeling sleepy anymore. Just tired and sore. He moved to stand up, just to notice that he was still naked. He felt his cheeks blushing and came back to the middle of the bed.

“You know you shouldn’t be ashamed now. C’mon, take this out”, Lewy said and pulled the blanket, leaving Marco exposed on the bed. He moved his hands and covered his face slightly. Lewy moved closer to him and took away his hands “Don’t do this. You are beautiful. And you believe me, right?”

Marco nodded, looking away.

“C’mon, answer me”

“Yes…”

“Perfect. So go and take a good shower”, Lewy said and kissed his forehead “I will go home now. Although I really wanted to join you in the shower, babe”

Lewy walked away and Marco just smiled and moved to the shower alone.

 

“Thank God!”, Mario said and ran to the door. He called David not much longer ago, but he barely slept in that night, thinking about Marco and the weird conversation he had, so those few minutes looked like ages for him.

“Ok, I really hope you have a good reason for call me at 7am on a sunday, or I swear to God…”

“Just shut up, come upstairs”, Mario said and looked outside the house, like looking for someone hidden, and ran to his room.

“I’m starting to worry about you, Mario. Calm down”, David said and grabbed his arm.

“What? No, I’m ok. Why are you asking?”

“Because you’re looking insane. How much did you sleep last night?”

“No”, Mario said and shook his head “I mean. This doesn’t matter!”

“Ok, ok. So what happened?”, David gave up.

“Yesterday morning, Marco came here”, Mario said “And he was really weird”

“No news. Go ahead”

“More than usual. So we talked about random stuff and played some games…”

“So it was a date, fine”, David pointed out “With a guy that has a boyfriend that scares you”

“First of all, wasn’t a date. Second, he doesn’t scares me. Before”

“It’s ok, the guy scares us all. Go on”

“So in the afternoon, we played football, and he is still good as he used to be”

“Stop fangirl about him. Go to the point”, David sat on the couch.

“And Robert came here. When I accidentally kick a ball in Marco’s head”, Mario whispered the last part and David’s eyes widened “And he talked with Marco and then he told me to back off. And Marco just went with him without nothing else”

“Fair enough?”

“The weird part is not this. Is what he told me later. When he came back”

Mario told David everything he could remember and David listened with no expression. When Mario finally finished, he fell on the cushions and David stared at him for a few seconds before speak.

“And you fucking believe this guy?”

“Shouldn’t I?”, Mario said sitting down.

“Well, I don’t know. I already told me about Marco and I don’t remember you saying about he being freaking mental”, David pointed out “A person don’t get a mental illness just because some guys beat him once or twice”

“I know but… I mean…”, Mario didn’t know what to say

“Believe me, he has everything to gain by you believing this story. You can’t ask Marco at all, you now don’t see him as a bad person. I mean, I'm not saying that's a lie, but doubt it. Is there something really wrong with this story”

 

Marco grabbed his coat and sat on the couch next the door. Lewy said he was going to take him in a few minutes to go to his house, and Marco knew that Lewy hated to wait for him. He picked up his phone and wiped the screen on his chest. Very often his hands were sweaty when he was waiting for Lewy or talking to him. He didn’t know why. He knew that Lewy constantly complained about it when they were holding hands.

Lewy came after half an hour, when Marco was almost sleeping on the couch.

“Hey you. Are you tired?”, Lewy said cupping his cheeks.

“A little bit, but it’s nothing”, Marco said, holding his hand and trying to not sweat anymore.

“If you say so. I have new movies. Thomas said they are the best”, Lewy kept talking while Marco tried hard to not zone out. When they (finally) arrived at Lewy’s house, Marco’s mind was already somewhere else “Marco. Are you listening to me?”

“Uh?”

“I don’t know why I bother to talk with you at all. Is it too hard?”, Lewy said and walked in.

“No, sorry, I just… I’m sorry…”

“No, it’s ok. But don’t complain when I don’t listen to you neither”, he said camly.

Marco snorted and followed Lewy inside, thinking about how, once again, he messed up everything. His perfect day. He sighed and sat carefully on the couch. Lewy was looking at his collection of movies and choose one that Marco never saw before. He sat on the couch, far away from Marco, and setted up the menu. Marco didn’t dare to move, otherwise Lewy could (even more) pissed at him.

And Lewy didn’t say a word during the whole movie. Marco could’nt even pay attention due the tense air surrounding him. He just sat with his hands under his thighs and looked at his feet. For almost two hours. Maybe the longest two hours of his life.

When the movie (finally) ended, Lewy, without say a word, picked up the dvd and put on the box. Marco gulped..

“Lewy I already said I’m sorry, I just zoned…”, Marco tried but Lewy just shushed him with a glare “I really am” he whispered.

“Are you sure?”, Lewy whispered back.

Marco nodded. Lewy offered his hand. And he took it.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you liked it? Did you hated it? What you want to see next chapter? Want to send death threats? Tell me in the comments!  
> LAME EXCUSE:  
> So if you were used to read me talking shit about my life in the notes on this fic, or even on my tumblr, you may know that I'm 16 and I finished high school and I'm going to college while I'm still a fetus, the problem is: a) All my friends are on school and don't give a shit for me anymore b) I'm anxious af c) I don't have anything better to do until 26th May when college begin. Result: I spend my days on my bed, still on my pj's either reblogging shit or watching youtube videos.   
> "So?? You have more time to write??" Truth. But I have 0 inspiration. Like nothing. I'm a potato.   
> "This is NOT AN EXCUSE!!!" Maybe. But this is what I tell myself to not feel bad about me begin an asshole.   
> So, yeah. This is it. See yall next time. BYE!


	14. Nowhere To Be Seen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ok, but how I’m going to ask him something like this?” Mario yawned and rubbed his eyes. He went to school sooner than ever to see if he could speak with Marco before class. Before Lewy.   
> “How you think?”, David took another sip of his super strong coffee. That Mario promptly brought for him in charge to wake David practically in the middle of the night. Ok, it was 6am, but it was too early to any human who loves his life.   
> “I don’t know. Like ‘hey, so what happened after an angry mob almost killed you in Podolski’s party like two years ago?’”  
> “Congratulations, he will hate you. Just like I do”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH SORRY I SHOULD HAVE POSTED THIS FIVE DAYS AGO BUT I WAS WITHOUT INTERNET AND...  
> "But you are a month late"  
> Well truth.

Marco squeezed his coat against his body as he walked slowly down the road that began to turn white with the snow. It was almost night and the wind was not being very nice to him, making him hug himself even harder. It was not even his coat, was Lewy’s (who once again emphasized that if he wasn’t around, Marco would forget to breathe, but it was not his fault that he could not find his own).

Marco just hoped that the house was empty as ever. He preferred not to answer the questions that their parents did when they (rarely) were here. But his mother should have gone to her shift at work, and his father, he had no idea where he was. He never bothered to say.

But when he turned the corner, he realized it would be a long night. His father’s car, was just in front of the garage door. He sighed and continued walking. He tried to walk on tiptoe as quietly as he could. Maybe he could just go to his room and sleep until everybody is gone.

“Marco, is that you?”

“Shit”, Marco cursed under his breath “Yes, dad, I’m here”

“Come here, please”, he said from the kitchen.

“One second”, Marco stopped in front of the mirror and fixed his hair and his clothes, pulling the collar up to hide a little bruise in his neck. The took a deep breath and walked to the kitchen “Yeah?”

“Hey son”, his dad said tapping his back “I haven’t seen you in ages. How are you doing?”

“I’m good”, he answered and took a sit in the breakfast bar.

“No news about anything?”, he continued to look for something to eat in the fridge.

“No really”, he crossed his arms over the bar and rested his head. He was so tired.

“Eh, I know… And what about that… Friend of yours, how is his name? Ronald, Roger…”

“Robert”

“Yeah, Robert. Do you still hang out with him?”, his dad looked at him for over his shoulder.

“Yep. I was in his house till now”, he yawned.

“Oh”, he sounded disappointed “Watching movies and stuff…”

“We watched a couple movies, yeah”, he was already struggling to keep awake.

“Which ones?”

“I don’t… Remember. I think… It was about space or...”, he said between breaths.

“Well, kid, there a lot of movies with this plot”, he laughed and turned with a bottle of coke in his hands. Marco had fell asleep on the bar. His dad put the bottle on the sink and shook the boy shoulder but he just groaned and nestled in his own arms “I could do this when you were seven I will do this now”

He put one arm under Marco’s knees and with the other, he held his armpit, and carefully lifted him. Marco hummed something and sighed in his sleep.

“You need to eat more, Jesus…”, he placed him in the couch and went back to his coke.

 

“Ok, but how I’m going to ask him something like this?” Mario yawned and rubbed his eyes. He went to school sooner than ever to see if he could speak with Marco before class. Before Lewy.

“How you think?”, David took another sip of his super strong coffee. That Mario promptly brought for him in charge to wake David practically in the middle of the night. Ok, it was 6am, but it was too early to any human who loves his life.

“I don’t know. Like ‘hey, so what happened after an angry mob almost killed you in Podolski’s party like two years ago?’”

“Congratulations, he will hate you. Just like I do”

“So help me, you… Spoon”, Mario grimaced and sat on the bench right next to the gates.

“Amazing. Just drop hints”

“How?”

“That’s your job, not mine. But try to look normal for the guy today, you weirdo will probably scare him”, David rested his head in the wall behind him and closed his eyes.

“Whatever”, Mario kept looking at the gates waiting for Marco.

But he never came.

Lewy came with his friends, but yet not sign of the blond boy. He even thought about asking Lewy where Marco was, but he wasn’t stupid until this point. He waited and waited and waited a little longer. But the classes were about to start and nothing. Marco never was absent in class.

“Ok, I’m not going to get late because of this. Neither you. So c’mon”, David said and pushed Mario that just sighed and followed David.

 

Marco woke up with phone ringing. He groggily tried to reach it on the nightstand, but he couldn’t. He tried to turn in his bed just to hit his face in the rest of the couch. So, he wasn’t in his bedroom? He sat down and looked around. He was still in the living room, and his jeans, and his phone was ringing in his pocket. He picked it up and answered.

“Hello?”, he rubbed his eyes sleepish.

“Where the hell are you?”, Lewy said angry in the phone.

“Lewy? What time is it?”, he looked at the time in his phone “Oh, shit”

“Are you still home?”

“Yes. I think I fell asleep on the sofa. Dammit”, he ran upstairs and threw his book in his bed looking for the right ones.

“Of course, you dumbass. Honestly. If I didn’t call, what are you going to do, hum? Now I have even to wake you up in the morning”

“I’m sorry. Thank you for wake me up. I don’t know what I would do without you. Thank you”

“Just get here right now, for fuck’s sake” and hung up.

“Just great”, Marco said to himself and ran for the bathroom to throw water on his face. He grab other clothes and dressed himself as quick as he could, and walked as fast as he could without people thinking he was completely nuts.

Or at least he tried to.

 

Mario bit viciously his pencil while he paid no attention to the class. He could swear his teacher was just like Charlie Brown’s teachers, because everything he could hear was ‘mom momo mom momoom’ while he looked at the window. David tried to kick his chair a few times, but Mario didn’t notice it. He only could think about what could’ve happen to Marco.

“Götze?”

“Hum…”

“Mister Götze?”, the teacher shook his shoulder again and Mario almost jumped from the chair.

“I’m sorry, what?”, he heard some students laugh and David hit his palm in his forehead.

“I asked you to go to the board and make the graphic to this function”, the teacher pointed and Mario swore that it was greek or something like this.

“Sorry, I don’t know how to do this”, he said hoping that he would just call him stupid and tell how to make this. But he wasn’t that lucky.

“If you don’t want to pay attention to my class, pay attention to the counselor. Get out”, he pointed to the door and Mario just grabber his things and stood up.

He saw some of Lewy friends laughing at him, but Lewy himself just looked at him for a few seconds and went back to his notes. Mario was almost sure Lewy was trying to burn him with a glare or choke him with the force. He had time to thing in all possibilities while walking to counselor room.

 

Marco was feeling sweaty and cold at the same time. After so long waiting in front of the counselor room, he was starting to make him feel a lot uncomfortable with this. If he knew that he was going to wait so long without doing nothing, he would have took a shower and ate breakfast. Oh, breakfast. His belly stopped growling, and he knew this wasn’t a good sign, but he had absolutely nothing to eat in his bag.

He pulled the hoodie of his coat to cover his eyes and waited for the end of the first class. He didn’t know if he wanted to it pass faster, because he was bored, or if he wanted to stay there forever, because he was in no way looking forward to talk with Lewy.

Maybe, like always, he just wanted to disapear.

He felt someone sitting right next to him and kept still. Maybe the other person would leave him alone in his shell of anxiety and stay quiet.

“Hey, what are doing here?”, the person said and Marco lifted his hoodie to see him. Mario smiled at him.

“Oh, hey. I’m just late”, Marco sat straight and put his hoodie down “What about you?”

“I wasn’t giving a shit to class and here am I”, Mario rubbed his face and crossed his arms.

“I see. Because that is a good behavior”, Marco poked his shoulder “I’m proud”

“You would too if you was there. Honestly it was so boring I could… I could hit my face in a tree”, Mario said a looked at Marco from the corner of his eye.

“Very smart of you. I like how you handle with problems”, Marco laughed. Mario didn’t notice nothing different in his face and smiled.

“So. Borussia Dortmund, hum?”

They spent a few minutes talking about football and the counselor called Mario. He got out with his face completely red, what amused Marco even more, but he said nothing about it, just joked about random stuff.

“He talked like this, he talked just like this”, Marco laughed, but got cut by the bell “We better go”

“We probably should”, Mario said and put his bag on his shoulder and checked his pocket “Oh shit, where is my phone? Damn”

“Let me help you...”

“No, no. Just go, I’ll find it. You can’t be late again”

“Ok, see you”, Marco said walking. But stopped in the middle of the corridor, looking nervously for his watch. He didn’t want to hurry anyway.

 

“The counselor room…”, Mario remembered and knocked the door, asking for his phone, that fell under the chair he was sit. he gathered his stuff and threw on his bag.

He ran to the class, but stopped when he saw Marco and Lewy in the end of the corridor. Lewy was saying something in low voice and looked angry. Marco was just looking at his feet and nodding. Mario stepped back to the corner and tried to look at them the best as he could.

Marco was getting angry, probably, because Mario could see him clench his fists and then finally looking at Lewy and saying something. Lewy raised his hand and Marco flinched to the wall, covering his face, but Lewy just stopped in the air and grabbed Marco’s sleeve, pulling his with him.

After a moment, Mario realized that he was completely pressed against the wall and his mouth was open. He tried to quickly follow them, but they were nowhere to be seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for kudos and messages (last chapter had so many comments that was UNBELIEVABLE thank you all so much)  
> Keep sending love, I will post the next chapter next week...   
> "Why we should believe in you???"  
> BECAUSE I ALREADY WROTE THE NEXT CHAPTER   
> So, see you guys, kisses and bye!


	15. To Look After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wanted so bad to go there and ask what was wrong (maybe punch Lewy once or twice) but with everyone around, mostly football players, it could never work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND YOU GUYS DIDN'T BELIEVE ME

Everything was too loud for his ears. Marco covered one ear and groaned. His stomach was hurting and he felt dizzy. Lewy and his friends talking loudly was in no way helping it. Even look around was making it get worse and was started to feel a bit sick. He looked for Lewy’s hand and held it.

“Hey, what is it?”, Lewy asked and looked at him. Marco was with his head down and with his eyes shut. Lewy held his chin and lifted.

“My... Head hurts”, Marco whined.

“Ok, come here”, Lewy moved closer to him and pulled his legs to his lap, and patting the crook of his neck so Marco could rest his head in it. Marco didn’t like all this proximity in front of Lewy’s friends, but there was nothing that he could do. Lewy got really mad last time he talked about it. But he needed Lewy’s cuddle in the moment.

He closed his eyes tightly and tried to relax the best as he could, trying to forget everything. Lewy looked around and then back to Marco.

“The noise is bothering you?”, he asked and Marco nodded. Lewy picked up his earphones and put them in Marco ears, then connected on his phone to play music in low volume. Marco still could hear Lewy talking with his friends, but it was so distant now. All he could think was about the music and Lewy’s hand rubbing circles in his back.

He couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend.

 

Mario was almost getting a headache too. All he could think was Marco and the incident from before, but he needed to pay attention to class this time. He thought that maybe if he talked about it with someone would help but David was going to lunch with Katia, or something like this. So he was alone in this.

He grabbed his lunch and went to sit with the football team like always. And Marco was there again, just like in the week before. This time, he was listening music in earphones, almost sitting in Lewy’s lap. His eyes were shut and he grimaced every once in a while, hugging his belly like he was holding himself together.

He wanted so bad to go there and ask what was wrong (maybe punch Lewy once or twice) but with everyone around, mostly football players, it could never work. He cursed and sat in his place, saying hello to everybody. Even to Lewy, but he didn’t answer.

The time passed quickly. Mario tried his best to keep his attention on the conversation while checking on Marco in the corner of his eye. Eventually, Marco opened his eyes and sat straight, but, of course, Lewy held his hand over the table. He kept the earphones and his head down, playing some game on Lewy’s phone. He doesn’t even looked at Mario.

But the thing was, Marco didn’t want to make Lewy angrier. And keep his friendship with Mario out of Lewy’s suspicion, what was already hard. But how stupid he would look trying to explain Mario that sometimes he needed to ignore him completely because Lewy would freak out if he knew?

And it was getting harder and harder to focus only on the phone. His head was spinning and he was pretty sure that a snake was inside his belly eating him from the inside out. He was too afraid to convince Lewy to go out to buy food with him. A few hours and he could go back home and make something for himself

It sounded like centuries.

“Marco”, Lewy shook his shoulder and took of his earphones.

“Hm”

“We have just five minutes. Let’s go to class”, Lewy stood up and Marco nodded, following him. A wave of nausea almost sent him to the ground, but Lewy got him “What is this?”

“Nothing, my foot got stuck”, Marco said.

“Hum. Pay more attention to the ground”, Lewy said and turned to the table, to say goodbye to his friends “How is the headache?”

“Fine, I just want water”

“Here”, Lewy stopped and picked up his water bottle in his bag, giving it to Marco.

He turned around once again, so he could catch Mario’s eyes that followed Marco in every moviment.

 

After Marco left, it was almost impossible to Mario to focus on the conversation. He drank his coke and excused himself to leave the table. When he was almost in his class, he saw David with… Madja? Something like this. She kissed his cheek and left waving. Mario waited her to leave walked him.

“Dude, you won’t believe…” David started but Mario said nothing, just pushed him inside the class “Hold on, hold on, hold ON! What?”

“I’m going to kill him, I’m so going to kill him…”, Mario muttered pacing around. David sighed.

“Is this about Marco?”

“Yes”

“Can I talk first this time? I’m pretty sure this can wait”

“But I…”

“But you never listen to me. See, I’m a human being with a life, I’m not just your sidekick to keep tracking Marco’s life all day long. Things happen in my life. Like today”

“Ok, ok. Go on”, Mario gave up.

“So. Did you saw Katja? I called him to a date with her and she said YES. We are going to the movies tonight!”, David said smiling from one ear to another.

“Yes, congratulations buddy!”, Mario smiled and patted his back “Now back to my history”, he said serious and David sighed, dropping his backpack to the floor and sitting in one of the chairs.

“Ok. Tell me”

“So I was sent of in the first class, because of that stupid teacher”, Mario started, pacing around again.

“I’m pretty sure you were the stupid one”, David muttered resting his chin on his hand.

“Maybe. Then I went to the counselor room, and guess who was there”

“Marco…”

“Exactly. And we talked about random stuff, nothing important. Then we had to come back to the class, and I forgot my phone, I didn’t know where it was, so I told Marco to go without me”

“Wow, your life is so exciting”, David said bored.

“Thanks. Then I found my phone and walked to the corridor, and guess who was there”

“Robert”

“Exactly. And he was almost…”

“Kissing him”

“No. Hitting him”

“You are just imagining things now, Mario”, David shook his head.

“No. They were arguing and when Marco said something, Lewy made like this”, Mario raised his hand “And Marco almost fell backwards, but Lewy just stopped and pulled him. And they left”, Mario sat in the chair right next to David “I don’t know, Marco flinched so quickly and covered his face, like he was used to it. David, I don’t like this. I don’t”

“Mario, I know what you are thinking, but you can say that without any prove. This is really serious. But keep two eyes on him. Look for the signs. If that’s true and Lewy hits him, you can find a solution, but we can’t do anything without proves”, David said calmly, knowing that Mario was getting way to nervous about this.

“Ok, ok. I know this. I just… Have a bad feeling”

“And we will find a way to fix this, okay?”, ha patted his shoulder and pointed to the board “But now you have to pay attention to class, because we can’t look after Marco if you are in home suspended”

 

Marco just let himself fall sit on the stands. He tried to give an excuse to come back home right after the last class, but Lewy just said he wanted him on the stands, and Marco couldn’t argue. He didn’t had any energy left, so Lewy didn’t have to say twice.

He rested his head on his hands, elbows on knees, trying to focus in anything but his empty stomach, instead following Lewy with his eyes while he stretched with the others. After a couple minutes, Mario came running in the side line, in his bare feet, holding his boots in one hand. Marco couldn’t help but smile.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I couldn’t find my boots”, he said pointing to them.

“GÖTZE”, the coach said “GET LATE ONCE AGAIN AND I’LL MAKE YOU RUN AROUND THIS FIELD ALL PRACTICE, UNDERSTOOD”

“Yes, sir”, Mario said smiling and lifted his boots “Just give me a minute”

“Make it in a half”, he replied and moved to the field again.

“Hey”, Mario said moving to Marco and putting his socks.

“You never learn, do you?”, Marco laughed.

“Nah”, he tied his shoelaces and stood up, and looked at Marco for any sign of a bruise, but he just looked tired and pale “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, just a stomach ache”, Marco said quickly.

“Oh, so why you don’t go home?”

“I’m waiting for Lewy”

“But why you…”

“I think the coach is calling you”, Marco pointed.

“Oh, right” Mario turned around and waved for the coach who was glaring at him “So, see you later”

“Yeah, bye”, Marco waved and grabbed his water bottle, both to distract from the pain in his stomach and from Lewy, who stared at him angrily.

 

When the practice ended, Mario ran to the locker room in record time. He just stood in the shower for five second to then jump in his boxers and jeans, grabbing a shirt and leaving the room while everybody was still trying to have a proper shower.

Marco was sitting in the bench near the gates, with his eyes closed and head bent down in the rest. Mario sat at his side and ran his fingers in his own hair.

“Hey, you”, Mario said and Marco flinched a little “Feeling better?” Marco groaned and looked around confused.

“Hey, Mario”, he sat up straight and rubbed his eyes “Yeah, I’m fine”

“Are you sure? You are pretty pale”, Mario pointed out.

“I’m pale all the time”, Marco smiled tiredly.

“I know, I just… Worried about you”

“Why?”, Marco looked at his feet.

“You just don’t look so well. Are you feeling pain or anything like this?”

“What? Why would I?”, Marco tried to make sense of Mario’s words and give a proper answer, but he felt to dizzy to think straight.

“I don’t know. Maybe you hurt yourself or maybe anyone…”

“I know exactly what you are trying to say”, Lewy said suddenly. He was with his hair still wet and with his bag on his shoulder “But I still hope that it’s not what I’m thinking”

“Hey Lewy!”, Marco said standing up “Where was you? I didn’t see you… Coming”

“I was changing my clothes, and just went to there to see this idiot trying to put bullshit on you mind!”, Lewy pointed and Mario stood up moving towards him.

“You are the idiot here. Can’t you see that he is not ok? I was trying to find out what is wrong”

“Since when you care, who are even you?”

“I’m his friend since we both can remember”

“You’ve just appear one week ago. Before that, you didn’t care. Where was you, hun? Marco told me about you. How you just left to never say a word after that. Where was you?”

Mario stepped back and tried to form an answer but Marco interrupted him.

“Lewy forget it, let’s go to my house, I’m already hungry”, he tried to pull Lewy with him, but he barely had power to keep himself on his feet, let alone, drag Lewy with him.

“Oh, no. Not until I’m done with this and he go mind his own business”

“Just leave him alone, let’s go”, Marco tried again.

“Marco get out”, Lewy pushed him away.

“Don’t talk with him like that!”, Mario pointed to Lewy’s face.

They kept arguing and shouting at each other, but Marco couldn’t hear a thing. His ears were buzzing, and he was sweating cold. He knew what was going to happen.

“Lewy… Lewy…”, Marco reached his hand to hold on Lewy’s shoulder, but fell limp in his arms. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you. Yeah, you.  
> http://8tracks.com/kramering/to-save-a-young-heart

**Author's Note:**

> If you like it, leave a comment and a kudo and subscribe!  
> Also, you can find me on kramering.tumblr.com  
> Kisses and bye!


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